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       #Post#: 27458--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: kglory
       Date: March 10, 2019, 3:45 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Rose Red link ---
       >
       > [quote author=kglory link=topic=1035.msg27453#msg27453
       date=1552248232]
       > I would never have said anything.  Unless you were going to
       make a complaint before they asked because it was so inedible,
       it feels somehow rude or violating social norms to reply to "Did
       you like it?" from a stranger with "No."
       >
       > Then again I tend towards the people-pleasing side so I would
       never want to insult new business owners like this, especially
       people I don't even know.
       >
       > For those who would feel compelled to answer honestly to help
       the business, the only way I could see doing it is burying one
       small negative among some good things.  Like, "It was good, and
       the cake had a good flavor.  The icing was a little sweet for my
       taste.  I do love having a new bakery in our downtown."
       >
       > Voila, not offended anyone, said a lot of nice things so they
       won't feel attacked, but like any person, they will hone in one
       the criticism and maybe address that one thing.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       But this is a business interaction and not social. The OP
       shouldn't say it sucks, but she can say it was a bit dry and the
       frosting was too sweet for her taste. She can say it in a nice
       tone. Feedback doesn't have to mean complaint.
       A new business is the perfect time for feedback so they can
       change and improve if they wish.  They want repeat business; not
       customers who are too polite to say anything and just never come
       back.
       [/quote]
       She absolutely could, and it wouldn't make her a bad person or
       anything. I'm just saying I personally wouldn't.  Unless (and
       this is a stretch imagining myself doing) but unless I paired it
       with some kind of compliment - X was good, but Y could use less
       sugar.
       Even in terms of how to react - I'm also in a (very different)
       profession involving direct customer feedback, in a way,
       anonymous surveys, and when it's nothing but negative, it's easy
       to think "wow this person had horrible expectations!" or "how
       rude are they" or etc.  But if they say some thoughtful things
       but mention one or two problematic things they would have liked
       differently, I'm more likely to take that into account.  I think
       most people are like this in how they respond to criticism.
       #Post#: 27468--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: Irked Purist
       Date: March 11, 2019, 7:03 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       It's not an 'insult', whether you're a people-pleaser or not.
       Not everyone responds well to the 'compliment sandwich'
       technique. Some skip right over the criticism because they only
       hear the compliements; others interpret it as manipulative.
       Saying anything about the cake being good or having a nice
       flavour would be verging on a lie. It's unecessary to have to
       come up with false praise just so your valid criticism isn't
       read as an 'attack'.
       Admittedly I have serious problems with the 'I hated it, but I
       was too polite to say anything' approach.
       #Post#: 27469--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: Kimberami
       Date: March 11, 2019, 8:07 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Aleko link ---
       >
       > [quote]If I were a diligent employee, I would have taken the
       fact that the customer threw away a significant portion of the
       product as a sign that it wasn't very good. The customer might
       not have eaten it all in one sitting, but most customers would
       have taken a tasty (pricey) treat with them for later.
       --- End Quote ---
       Indeed - and that may well have been the precise reason why they
       asked.
       [/quote]
       OP's action already told the answer. Just like when plates are
       returned to the kitchen with specific items untouched. Alert
       owners shouldn't have to ask patrons how the food was. They can
       see with their own eyes that food has been enjoyed. Half a
       cupcake thrown away is a clear indication that it isn't any
       good. If the customer isn't willing to offer a critique on their
       own, then you aren't likely to get a true answer to the
       questions "How was it?" or "Did you like it?" The customer will
       just offer a polite fiction and never come back. A better
       question would be "I see that the cupcake wasn't to your liking.
       How could we improve?"
       #Post#: 27471--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: Jem
       Date: March 11, 2019, 9:27 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Kimpossible link ---
       >
       > Half a cupcake thrown away is a clear indication that it isn't
       any good.
       --- End Quote ---
       I don't know this is entirely accurate. Some cupcakes are giant,
       and a person truly only wants half the cupcake. Some people are
       tracking their macros and have decided they wish to indulge in a
       few bites of a delicious cupcake, but not throw their
       nutritional planning out of whack by eating the entire thing.
       At certain restaurants I think the same can be true. Some places
       provide entrees that are easily 2-4 times the recommended
       serving amount. If a person only eats a portion of what is
       served, it COULD mean that they didn't like it.....but it could
       also mean they enjoyed it but only wanted the amount they
       decided to eat.
       #Post#: 27472--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: lowspark
       Date: March 11, 2019, 9:29 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Kimpossible link ---
       >
       > A better question would be "I see that the cupcake wasn't to
       your liking. How could we improve?"
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       I would not really like to be asked that question. It puts me
       even more on the spot! We often say here that it's not polite to
       observe what food your guests are eating or not eating, nor to
       comment on that.
       I think it's fine for a staff member of a restaurant to silently
       take note of what is not getting eaten for their own research
       and edification, but I don't think it's ok for them to make a
       customer uncomfortable by asking about it or really
       acknowledging it in any way. It's sort of a "you didn't finish
       your vegetables" comment.
       Again, I think if the café needs feedback, particularly in their
       early days, they should ask customers in a non-intrusive way
       which allows them to answer in a relatively anonymous way if
       they choose to. A comment card for example, which, in the case
       of a customer not eating most of their food, can be presented
       as, "We'd love to have your feedback if you don't mind filling
       out this card and dropping it in the box."
       I get that posting negative comments on line can discourage
       others from going. But the other choices are to tell them to
       their face, which as noted, can be very uncomfortable, or
       staying silent. Negative comments on line can be responded to by
       the business owner at least, with a polite response and maybe an
       offer for a discount on the next visit.
       But if the only avenue for feedback is the workers querying a
       customer whom they happen to observe throwing out a large
       portion of the food, they won't really know what issues they
       have. The cook/baker needs to know not only that the cupcakes
       aren't being well received, but why.
       #Post#: 27486--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: DaDancingPsych
       Date: March 11, 2019, 11:31 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Mrs. Tilney link ---
       >
       > I think if you want to be helpful and encourage the bakery to
       succeed, you shouldn't leave a negative Yelp review; I doubt it
       would lead to the baker changing anything, and would keep
       customers away. At this point, I probably wouldn't say or do
       anything.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       I agree. Negative Yelp reviews are for when the service was so
       awful that no one should have to endure! Although, I try to read
       "through" reviews, as it is often obvious that the
       product/service was not "bad", it just wasn't want that person
       was looking for.
       #Post#: 27492--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: betty
       Date: March 11, 2019, 12:18 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Yes, say something, in person to the manager or owner if they
       are available.
       We recently ordered pizza (via the shop's website, so they had
       our email address). It was good, but didn't have the extra sauce
       we requested. When we got an email request to leave a review,
       instead we called and spoke to the manager (who apologized and
       offered a gift card for a free pizza). If the management doesn't
       know something is wrong, they can't fix anything.
       #Post#: 27494--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: Contrarian
       Date: March 11, 2019, 12:31 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I’m struggling a bit with this because I review restaurants and
       bakeries and the like for a living. I was in the food industry
       for years and am very critical of service and food prep and
       presentation. Mostly because it’s nowhere near as difficult as
       some may suggest.
       It’s a lot of work and a lot of hours to own or manage a place
       that sells good food and offers good service but the individual
       tasks are simple.
       I ran across quite a few chef’s and cooks who were enemies with
       the health inspectors.  There is no reason for it, cleaning and
       upkeep and proper food storage and handling is a lot of labour
       but it’s not difficult to understand or pull off and everyone
       wins when it’s right.
       The restaurateurs that get pissed off when a health inspector
       points out a crack in the wall (potential for pest control
       issues) are being for too egotistical, they should be thanking
       the inspector for pointing it out.
       Ditto critics of the food or service.  Cupcakes should not be
       dry, they should have a slight bit of moistness, not necessarily
       detectable, and some spring.  A brand new bakery upon opening
       has absolutely no excuse for poor storage or a bad batch.  They
       would have tasted their batch to ensure quality.
       Poor storage? What time did they bake theses cupcakes? The
       business is a bakery, the cupcakes wod have been baked within an
       1.5 hours before putting them on sale and only available up to
       four hours after their preparation. There is something seriously
       wrong here. Some half assed attempt at this. Either someone who
       thins themselves great at business and figures cupcakes are
       trendy now I’ll do this, and hasn’t bothered to hire an actual
       baker (the business side of people never want to pay talent what
       they’re worth) or someone that already owns two or three of
       these has over expanded and put this shop into the hands of a
       careless manager.
       All of this goes to say, yes, tell them the cupcake is dry and
       the icing is too sweet for your taste.  And if your comments are
       received badly, never return.
       If you are thanked, apologized to, and given some sort of
       invitation to try again, than it’s your choice to accept or not.
       For those of you too shy or nervous to give a critique when
       asked, I’m not sure what the point is of stating that. I assume
       that goes in almost every situation you’re in. The shy,
       non-social, introverts and people pleasers generally will shy
       away from any interaction that will prolong engagement so the
       fact that it’s a business instead of social doesn’t really
       change things does it.
       Although, in their defense, I’m an introvert, I don’t shy away
       from confrontation or unpleasant situations but I do tend to
       spend very little time with others in the first place.
       #Post#: 27529--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: TootsNYC
       Date: March 11, 2019, 7:39 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: kglory link ---
       >
       > I would never have said anything.  Unless you were going to
       make a complaint before they asked because it was so inedible,
       it feels somehow rude or violating social norms to reply to "Did
       you like it?" from a stranger with "No."
       >
       > Then again I tend towards the people-pleasing side so I would
       never want to insult new business owners like this, especially
       people I don't even know.
       >
       > For those who would feel compelled to answer honestly to help
       the business, the only way I could see doing it is burying one
       small negative among some good things.  Like, "It was good, and
       the cake had a good flavor.  The icing was a little sweet for my
       taste.  I do love having a new bakery in our downtown."
       >
       > Voila, not offended anyone, said a lot of nice things so they
       won't feel attacked, but like any person, they will hone in one
       the criticism and maybe address that one thing.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       But...this is business, not social.
       You don't need to--in fact you shouldn't--follow the same rules
       in both places.
       #Post#: 27545--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: gramma dishes
       Date: March 12, 2019, 9:02 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Jem link ---
       >
       > [quote author=Kimpossible link=topic=1035.msg27469#msg27469
       date=1552309658]
       > Half a cupcake thrown away is a clear indication that it isn't
       any good.
       --- End Quote ---
       I don't know this is entirely accurate. Some cupcakes are giant,
       and a person truly only wants half the cupcake. Some people are
       tracking their macros and have decided they wish to indulge in a
       few bites of a delicious cupcake, but not throw their
       nutritional planning out of whack by eating the entire thing.
       At certain restaurants I think the same can be true. Some places
       provide entrees that are easily 2-4 times the recommended
       serving amount. If a person only eats a portion of what is
       served, it COULD mean that they didn't like it.....but it could
       also mean they enjoyed it but only wanted the amount they
       decided to eat.
       [/quote]
       A cupcake is easily carried out.  If you loved the cupcake you
       might have asked for a bag to take the rest home with you.
       Throwing it out is a pretty sure indication you didn't like it.
       Restaurant food is the same except that if you're on your lunch
       break and have no way to refrigerate your uneaten portion, you
       may have to reluctantly leave it.  But lots of people do take
       restaurant leftovers home, especially if they are going there
       immediately.  I most certainly do!   ;)
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