DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 27205--------------------------------------------------
Owe any more money?
DIR By: DollyPardonMe
Date: March 5, 2019, 1:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
A little background: Katie and Keith are married. Katie and
Bella are friends. Until about 2 months ago, Bella and Katie
were just acquaintances due to mutual friends. It was not until
they realized they shared a mutual passion for antiques that
they started to become closer. A few weeks back Bella, Katie,
and Keith decided to take a 4 hour road trip to a city that is
known for antiques. They rented a Uhaul to bring their buys back
home in, and split the cost 3 ways. The trip was for 5 nights.
They all agreed before the trip to share a hotel room to keep
costs low.
The first night in the hotel room Bella discovered that Keith
"snores louder than freight train". Bella said it was "hands
down the worst and loudest snoring she has ever heard". She said
that it was also constant, all night long. After a few hours she
gently woke up Keith and asked him to roll over. He did but it
did not stop the snoring. Bella said she didn't sleep a wink the
whole night.
The next morning Bella nicely asked Katie if Keith always
snored. Katie responded very breezily with "Oh yea, he is the
worst snore-er ever! But I have learned to sleep through it".
After some thought Bella decided that she did not want to go 4
more nights without sleeping, so she nicely told Katie and Keith
that she was going to get her own room in the same hotel for the
rest of the trip. She didn't say anything nasty about Keith's
snoring. She just said that she was a light sleeper and could
not sleep through it, so she thought this was best. Bella said
that while Keith didn't seem to care at all, Katie was cold to
her for the rest of the day. But the next day Katie was back to
normal.
A few days after they returned home from the trip Katie sent
Bella an aggressive text saying Bella owed Katie her 1/3 of the
hotel room for the remaining 4 nights. (Bella Venmo'd Katie her
1/3 of the cost of the hotel room from the first night. She paid
for her private room on her own card.) Bella responded to Katie
saying that since Katie never warned her in any way that Keith
snored, she didn't think she owed her any money since she got
her own room. Since the initial text, Katie has texted Bella 2
more times saying she owes her money.
Does Bella owe Katie any money for the hotel room she didn't
sleep in for the last 4 nights? Should Katie have given Bella a
warning about the snoring? Bella apparently asked Katie before
the trip if she and Keith needed any special sleep
accommodations such as TV on or a light on because Bella is a
light sleeper. Katie said they didn't need anything special and
never mentioned snoring.
Does Bella owe Katie money? Is there a compromise that should be
made here? Or because Katie never warned her of the snoring
should she not expect any more money?
I am friends with Bella but I don't know Katie but will try and
answer questions the best I can.
#Post#: 27208--------------------------------------------------
Re: Owe any more money?
DIR By: STiG
Date: March 5, 2019, 1:51 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I think Bella is being reasonable and Katie is being
unreasonable - and definitely should have mentioned Keith's
snoring, especially when Bella told her she was a light sleeper.
However, it depends on how much Bella wants to maintain this
friendship. If she does want to maintain the relationship, she
may have to pay this time and then, next time, be clear that she
will be getting her own room and not sharing Keith and Katie's
room, and therefore, not splitting the cost of said room. But
if someone is 'aggressively' texting me? I'm not sure I'd want
to maintain the friendship.
Whenever I'm planning to share a room with someone, I always
tell them that I snore so they can either come prepared with
earplugs or make other arrangements. I always sleep with
earplugs when away from home so it doesn't matter, for me.
#Post#: 27212--------------------------------------------------
Re: Owe any more money?
DIR By: JeanFromBNA
Date: March 5, 2019, 1:59 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
If I were in Katie's shoes, I might have forgotten that my DH
snores, since I have grown accustomed to it. I've had brain
farts like that before, so I can see something similar
happening. But once I found that my roommate was unable to
sleep, I would have graciously accepted her decision, and paid
the rest of our room cost. I might have been annoyed at the
extra expense, but I wouldn't bring it up again.
#Post#: 27214--------------------------------------------------
Re: Owe any more money?
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: March 5, 2019, 2:02 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I was leaning towards "Bella doesn't owe money," and then I read
"Bella told Katie she's a light sleeper" and that cinched it.
Bella doesn't owe. That was Katie's opportunity to tell Bella
that Keith snores so loudly he can wake the dead.
I'm guessing that when Bella asked Katie withheld that info so
that Bella would still share the room and defray the costs.
I'm curious, how much money are we talking about? If rooms were
$200 a night and Bella's supposed to pay an additional $67 plus
what she paid for her room, that's unreasonable.
I think Bella can reply with "Sorry Katie. I had to get my own
room because of Keith's snoring and that maxed out my budget for
the trip." I might add, "I told you I was a light sleeper and if
you'd have have been forthcoming the snoring then, we could have
planned accordingly so neither of us would be surprised with
unexpected expenses." Because Katie's unexpected expenses are
far lower than Bella's!
#Post#: 27216--------------------------------------------------
Re: Owe any more money?
DIR By: mime
Date: March 5, 2019, 2:38 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I don't think Bella owes anything.
The key is that she mentioned her deal-breaker beforehand:
things that would prevent her from sleeping.
Keith and Katie weren't upfront about his snoring, which would
have caused Bella to make other sleeping arrangements. We don't
know if they were deliberately hiding it, or if they just forgot
because it was such a normal part of their life, but either way
it was their misstep.
I do agree, though, that if Bella wants to preserve the
friendship, then she should consider paying and assuming it was
an innocent mistake and they might view her as being a bit
princess-and-the-pea over the snoring. After that, she should
keep this as a lesson learned: be careful in making deals with
them, knowing that they're not likely to appreciate her side of
any differences.
#Post#: 27217--------------------------------------------------
Re: Owe any more money?
DIR By: lakey
Date: March 5, 2019, 2:48 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
STiG,
Do the earplugs work, and if so, where can you buy them? I
shared a hotel room with my sister for one night, and it was
horrible. I've never known anyone could snore that loudly. The
thing is, other than that, I wouldn't mind traveling with her.
#Post#: 27218--------------------------------------------------
Re: Owe any more money?
DIR By: sandisadie
Date: March 5, 2019, 2:51 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
If it were me I'd just pay her the money and knock the
friendship back to acquaintance. Life is too short to have
someone you barely know dunning you for money you don't think
you owe.
#Post#: 27219--------------------------------------------------
Re: Owe any more money?
DIR By: Victoria
Date: March 5, 2019, 2:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
IMO Bella doesn't owe any money, because she put everyone on
notice that she was a light sleeper. Katie can't demand payment
from Bella when after incurring extra costs due to her own
forgetfulness.
Also, I've been in the same situation before-an inconsiderate
friend didn't tell me that she snores like a freight train. Even
though I had earplugs and a sound machine, neither helped and I
was up all night.
--- Quote from: sandisadie link ---
>
> If it were me I'd just pay her the money and knock the
friendship back to acquaintance. Life is too short to have
someone you barely know dunning you for money you don't think
you owe.
>
--- End Quote ---
Yeah, but why pay money when Bella can just block Katie's
number?
#Post#: 27223--------------------------------------------------
Re: Owe any more money?
DIR By: Contrarian
Date: March 5, 2019, 3:51 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I know that this isn’t helpful, but how on earth does one get to
adulthood without knowing that it is never, ever a good idea to
agree to spend five nights in a hotel room with a couple you
barely know and have never spent one night with?
Had she never had a sleepover as a child and experience the
discomfort and the need for privacy?
Did she never consider that maybe she, or one of them would be
up later or up earlier or up constantly peeing or plenty of
smooching happening or horrible television watching or someone
drinking too much or not enough or the various,endless small
irritations that one might have may just make 5 FIVE!! Bleeding
nights a really bad idea.
Honestly, how many of you would agree to this under these
circumstances? The four hour drive, five (six?) days together
may be managed but in addition the agreement of five nights in a
shared hotel room with a couple you barely know? From the sounds
of it a man you don’t know at all and a woman you barely know?
That’s madness.
Call me what you will, and yes I think if you couldn’t afford it
any other way you shouldn’t go but that’s just crazy.
Bella owes nothing but an apology to herself and a good talk
with herself about what she could have done to avoid this.
And why would you want to remain friends with someone so petty
as to expect you to pay a third of their hotel stay when you
said it was unbearable? If it was a matter of cost, couldn’t the
trip be shortened?
And why doesn’t this guy get tested for sleep apnea? It could
save his life.
And how on earth did Kate get used to it? I told my ex, if he
didn’t get tested for sleep apnea I would leave him because
sleep is that important.
20 years later he still thanks me for that. No more falling
asleep while driving or playing poker.
Yes it’s a rant. I’m sorry, but really. Lesson learned. Keep
your money in the bank. Buy awesome antiques on your own.
#Post#: 27228--------------------------------------------------
Re: Owe any more money?
DIR By: Violet Bandit
Date: March 5, 2019, 6:09 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: lakey link ---
>
> STiG,
> Do the earplugs work, and if so, where can you buy them? I
shared a hotel room with my sister for one night, and it was
horrible. I've never known anyone could snore that loudly. The
thing is, other than that, I wouldn't mind traveling with her.
>
--- End Quote ---
In my experience earplugs can help with some kinds of noise but
can’t do much to block out a runaway freight train snorer (such
as my DH).
*****************************************************
Page 1 of 4
DIR Next Page