DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 26982--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: Dr. F.
Date: February 28, 2019, 10:09 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Contrarian link ---
>
> [quote author=Dr. F. link=topic=1017.msg26868#msg26868
date=1551227914]
> I was once on a flight coming home from a stressful job
interview. I had a window seat, which I had paid extra for, as I
have claustrophobia, and being able to see out the window helps.
A couple comes in, sits in the middle and aisle, and asks to
have the window, because, "We're NEWLYWEDS!" Note - they were
sitting together, they just wanted the window, but without
paying for it. I said no. They proceeded to heckle me (sad,
pathetic, bitter unmarried ladies!) and be obnoxious for the
entire rest of the 4-hour flight.
>
> That one goes down as one of my worst flights ever.
>
--- End Quote ---
This is horrible! The whole flight they behaved like this? I
had a couple once, at a party, specifically target me for some
reason. Maybe because the woman in the couple had patted a seat
on the couch beside her and I shook my head no and stayed where
I was, but they were kind of focused on me before that.
But afterwards, for the rest of the night they made comments
that I wasn’t playing fooseball (I was enjoying watching and
drinking my wine, I wasn’t standing around all grumpy or
anything) they commented on my not playing fooseball, didn’t I
like fooseball?, what do you have against fooseball?,can you
believe this woman isn’t playing fooseball?) for HOURS. What
can you even call this behaviour?
They talked to me, talked about me, constantly were focused on
me they constantly drew other people’s focus to me, in a
consistently negative manner,and I can’t believe how oddly weak
I felt. I just didn’t understand the behaviour at all but I
think they sensed a weakness in me that I hadn’t been aware of.
Anyway, I can’t imagine being sat beside a team of people just
crapping on me for a full four hours. And you really can’t get
into it on a plane.
I would consider, which is out of character, flagging down a
flight attendant and saying, I paid for this window seat
specifically and this couple wanted me to give it up, I haven’t
and since then, for more than an hour now, they have been
harassing me and calling me ridiculous names. Is there anywhere
else you can put them? Or could you bump me to business class so
I don’t have to sit here and be harassed?” They will deny it
but I’m sure their performance wouldn’t fool anyone.
I’m sorry this happened to you!
[/quote]
They weren't only rude to me, but to the flight attendants,
other passengers, etc. etc. They really had a massive case of
entitlement.* When they weren't mocking me, they were making out
*loudly*, in an apparent move to make me/other passengers as
uncomfortable as possible. It really was bonkers. The flight
attendants were sympathetic, but the flight was completely full,
so they had no recourse. It was a flight from Honolulu to Los
Angleles, so completely full and no stops.
*I had heard of this before - people who get so used to being
VIPs from being the bride/groom/newlyweds that acclimatizing to
"normal" life is hard. This was my first, and, thankfully ONLY,
experience of this, despite knowing many engaged
couples/newlyweds.
#Post#: 26993--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: Elle Kruger
Date: March 1, 2019, 9:31 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hubby and I like to go to dinner theaters. We went to one that
was a murder mystery with audience participation and lots of
people moving around during the meal. We were there early and
had our pick of the seats. The tables sat eight people and were
round so we picked seats that allowed us to see as much of the
"action" as possible. The hostess put name cards at our seats,
served us wine and water, and later came back and said we were
welcome to take our wine to the outside balcony while we waited.
We had a lovely time visiting with other early arrivals.
When we went back inside, there was a young couple at our table.
When we went to sit down, our name cards and our water glasses
had been moved to the two seats at the table that had their
backs to the rest of the room. When we asked who moved our
seats, the young lady said, "Oh, I did that. My parents are
coming and I want them to have the best seats." When I explained
that we had already picked those seats, she said, "But those are
the seats I want. You can sit over there." I politely explained
that that's not the way it works and we moved our name cards
back to their original places. I also flagged down the hostess
and asked for new glasses of water since ours had been moved.
The young lady was furious and her husband was mortified. I
heard him whisper to her that he told her not to do that. When
her parents arrived she proceeded to tell them that she'd tried
to get them the best seats but we weren't willing to trade. Her
parents were also mortified and proceeded to tell her how rude
she'd been and apologized to us. She pouted the whole meal, but
her husband and parents were lovely people and everyone else at
the table had a great time.
#Post#: 27023--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: FloBrez
Date: March 1, 2019, 4:48 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Contrarian link ---
>
> [quote author=Dr. F. link=topic=1017.msg26868#msg26868
date=1551227914]
>
>
> I had a couple once, at a party, specifically target me for
some reason. Maybe because the woman in the couple had patted a
seat on the couch beside her and I shook my head no and stayed
where I was, but they were kind of focused on me before that.
> But afterwards, for the rest of the night they made comments
that I wasn’t playing fooseball (I was enjoying watching and
drinking my wine, I wasn’t standing around all grumpy or
anything) they commented on my not playing fooseball, didn’t I
like fooseball?, what do you have against fooseball?,can you
believe this woman isn’t playing fooseball?) for HOURS. What
can you even call this behaviour?
> They talked to me, talked about me, constantly were focused on
me they constantly drew other people’s focus to me, in a
consistently negative manner,and I can’t believe how oddly weak
I felt. I just didn’t understand the behaviour at all but I
think they sensed a weakness in me that I hadn’t been aware of.
>
--- End Quote ---
That sounds terrible! I wonder why they picked on you? Were
these people total strangers? If I had a spine I would have
asked them what their problem was with me and to please shut it,
but with my social anxiety, I probably would have just left.
#Post#: 27038--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: March 1, 2019, 10:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Situation 1 - I would definitely have moved if it were a child
under 12, separated from their parents, even it meant moving to
a "worse" seat. But not for a lad of 15 (who is probably happy
and excited to be sitting apart from his parents, anyway!). So
while I don't think the parents were rude to ask if you'd mind
swapping seats with their son, you were not rude for saying no.
Situation 2 - if it was only one or two seats along, and your
view wouldn't be obstructed, I do think it would be a bit petty
to refuse to move.
#Post#: 27039--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: gmatoy
Date: March 1, 2019, 10:47 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Contrarian link ---
>
>
>
> This is horrible! The whole flight they behaved like this? I
had a couple once, at a party, specifically target me for some
reason. Maybe because the woman in the couple had patted a seat
on the couch beside her and I shook my head no and stayed where
I was, but they were kind of focused on me before that.
> But afterwards, for the rest of the night they made comments
that I wasn’t playing fooseball (I was enjoying watching and
drinking my wine, I wasn’t standing around all grumpy or
anything) they commented on my not playing fooseball, didn’t I
like fooseball?, what do you have against fooseball?,can you
believe this woman isn’t playing fooseball?) for HOURS. What
can you even call this behaviour?
> They talked to me, talked about me, constantly were focused on
me they constantly drew other people’s focus to me, in a
consistently negative manner,and I can’t believe how oddly weak
I felt. I just didn’t understand the behaviour at all but I
think they sensed a weakness in me that I hadn’t been aware of.
>
--- End Quote ---
See, some people never out grow being a bully. Whether on a
plane, or at a party, that behavior should never be allowed. And
yet, I have had times when I could not stand up for myself. Now
when I see or hear that behavior, I try to stand with the person
being bullied.
#Post#: 27061--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: iolaus
Date: March 2, 2019, 10:48 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: LifeOnPluto link ---
>
> Situation 1 - I would definitely have moved if it were a child
under 12, separated from their parents, even it meant moving to
a "worse" seat. But not for a lad of 15 (who is probably happy
and excited to be sitting apart from his parents, anyway!). So
while I don't think the parents were rude to ask if you'd mind
swapping seats with their son, you were not rude for saying no.
>
--- End Quote ---
On both flights we went on recently I didn't pay extra to have
the whole family sit together (you have to have an adult sit
next to a child under 12 so I did pay to guarantee that - so the
8 year old and I were sat next to each other) the 15, 16 and 18
year olds were all sat singularly (as was their dad) - noone
asked to swap. Although DH did say the other two people in his
row had their teenage son in the row behind him, and he would
have swapped if they had asked, but noone did. I did ask the
woman who had sat in my son's window seat to move though, but
that wasn't swapping it was just telling her to sit in her own
swat (and I think that may have been misunderstanding rather
than malice)
#Post#: 27077--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: oogyda
Date: March 3, 2019, 8:29 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: LifeOnPluto link ---
>
> Situation 1 - I would definitely have moved if it were a child
under 12, separated from their parents, even it meant moving to
a "worse" seat. But not for a lad of 15 (who is probably happy
and excited to be sitting apart from his parents, anyway!). So
while I don't think the parents were rude to ask if you'd mind
swapping seats with their son, you were not rude for saying no.
>
>
--- End Quote ---
I would expect one of the parents to trade with the under 12
year old. I would not willingly degrade my seat.
#Post#: 27078--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: LeeLieLow
Date: March 3, 2019, 8:54 am
---------------------------------------------------------
My family's plane travel was interrupted by bad weather and we
were reassigned to another plane. Of course the family's seats
were split up. We were very appreciative to the gate staff (and
any passengers who were asked to move) who enabled one parent to
sit with our 15 year old special needs child. Other passengers
may not notice that our child is special needs but he/she
definitely needed to be with a parent. We had planned ahead and
reserved seats together but sometimes life gets in the way.
#Post#: 27089--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: katiekat2009
Date: March 3, 2019, 2:37 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Situation #1: The couple on the plane are out of luck. They
should have booked the seats they wanted or one parent switch
with the kid so he could sit with the other parent.
Situation #2: Maybe I would move one seat either way if I still
had a good view but probably not. They can get a refund or see
the next showing. BTW, I hate a crowded movie theater and
usually try to go at a less popular time.
#Post#: 27090--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking To Switch Seats When You Don't Want To
DIR By: katiekat2009
Date: March 3, 2019, 2:53 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: FloBrez link ---
>
> [quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1017.msg26851#msg26851
date=1551214230]
> I'm with you, I wouldn't move.
>
> But one of the problems you had is the rude reactions of the
other people.
> The moviegoers who yelled at you about being rude, I'd just
ignore; it'll end soon.
>
> For the plane people, you're trapped there. I might say,
patiently, "I'm sorry you're unhappy, but I chose this seat
specifically. And I can clearly hear you complain about me. Do I
need to call the flight attendant? Perhaps they can find you
seats somewhere else."
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, this is the parts of the questions that stump me and I
wouldn't know what to do. I can say no but what to do when
someone starts making a scene when you refuse, causing you
unwanted attention, making you uncomfortable. I also have
social anxiety and would probably freeze up.
[/quote]
I'm thinking you say, "I'm sorry. That won't be possible" and
drop your eye contact.
*****************************************************
Page 5 of 10
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page