DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Family and Children
*****************************************************
#Post#: 26975--------------------------------------------------
Re: Something That Came Up On Facebook - Startled Me - But not
etiquette.
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: February 28, 2019, 5:56 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
she may have also felt (accurately or not) that your brother
wouldn't take her concerns seriously.
I know that some guys can just pooh-pooh some of the
interpersonal awkwardnesses that some women take more seriously.
Like, if this aunt was a major drama queen and sort of
unpleasant, maybe you would tell her, but your brother would
brush that off.
And sometimes guys just don't know!
After I got married, I was included in the "that wedding was
rude" / "this relative is unreasonable" conversations among the
Aunt Mafia. My husband never is, and never would be.
I have no idea if that applies at all, but it's one explanation
for why she might turn to you instead of her husband.
#Post#: 26976--------------------------------------------------
Re: Something That Came Up On Facebook - Startled Me - But not
etiquette.
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: February 28, 2019, 5:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Oh--there's also the old stereotype that etiquette and family
relationships are the territory of women.
#Post#: 26980--------------------------------------------------
Re: Something That Came Up On Facebook - Startled Me - But not
etiquette.
DIR By: VorFemme
Date: February 28, 2019, 7:42 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Brother had a serious heart attack in early June, some parts of
the treatment did not go well, and then remedial treatment had
to be delayed (for two to four months or so) while other issues
that came up were treated...she might have been trying to avoid
waking him up or trying to reach him at work...they aren't
always on the same shifts (he is on the same shift, she isn't).
Due to a really bad issue in her upbringing - she has some
social anxieties that lead her not to trust even relatives that
can't be vouched for. Including one of Brother's ex-wives who
spread lies that got current wife slapped in the face for
something that happened eight years before she met my brother.
That ex- may actually be one of the reasons why SIL asks for
someone to vouch for even his relatives...the only thing that I
can vouch for is that this particular ex- is probably about as
self centered as you can be without becoming a gravitational
singularity. I could be wrong, she might be a gravitational
singularity...but it doesn't hurt to try to protect my SIL a bit
from the chance of another encounter with someone who believes
the ex-'s retcon of reality.
#Post#: 26996--------------------------------------------------
Re: Something That Came Up On Facebook - Startled Me - But not
etiquette.
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: March 1, 2019, 10:19 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I think you are way overthinking this. Why she selected to ask
you and not your brother could be one of several reasons.
1. She might have asked your brother and he may not have
immediately recognized the name. I know I have a few cousins
that I don't always remember their name unless given to me in
context.
2. When the friend request came up, she probably saw you as a
"mutual friend". So easiest way is to ask you who the person is.
I doubt there was much concern about "trusting" you as it was
assuming you knew the people on your friend request.
3. She could have thought the individual was a relative and was
just getting confirmation from you.
And I agree that your brother not having FB is not odd. My DH
has never and will never has a social media profile. Just not
his thing.
#Post#: 27002--------------------------------------------------
Re: Something That Came Up On Facebook - Startled Me - But not
etiquette.
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: March 1, 2019, 1:00 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I agree you're overthinking this. There's no need to analysis
her motives for asking you; her reason doesn't matter. Either
answer or let her know why you can't.
I don't have, and never had, FB either. It's not that strange.
If something major happens, someone is sure to let me know.
#Post#: 27009--------------------------------------------------
Re: Something That Came Up On Facebook - Startled Me - But not
etiquette.
DIR By: Codewoman
Date: March 1, 2019, 2:22 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Bales link ---
>
> She probably asked you since you were listed as a mutual
friend of the aunt when she received the friend request.
--- End Quote ---
I think this makes the most sense. She received the friend
request, saw that you were friends with that person, so asked
you for information. You may be one of several mutual friends,
but she evidently trusts your opinion.
#Post#: 27048--------------------------------------------------
Re: Something That Came Up On Facebook - Startled Me - But not
etiquette.
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: March 2, 2019, 7:36 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Whenever I'm not sure about a friend request, I usually look at
the mutual friends first. It's not a stretch to actually ask
one of them about it.
*****************************************************
Page 2 of 2
DIR Previous Page