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#Post#: 29598--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: MichelleZB Date: April 20, 2019, 11:31 am
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Congrats on your great work nursing your kid! I'm 7 months in
with my second... nursed my first until he was two and a half!
I have nursed in church too, and everywhere. I don't worry about
being "discreet"--it is discreet enough to just nurse normally.
And no, babies cannot wait to eat, and I have no desire to spend
my life sitting in a bathroom or in my car nursing. I go about
my life and nurse when needed. Anyone who doesn't want an eyeful
of breast can just look away if they want. It is not rude to
nurse a child. It IS rude to stare. It IS rude to comment on
other people's bodies in public. If you get any flak, it is from
rude people.
I think you handled it well with your step-mom and should
continue doing it this way if she voices any more nursing
objections. "Oh, I'm so glad you're visiting. It's great to see
you. Here are the times I'm available to hang with you. Here are
the activities I am doing with the baby when I plan to nurse. If
you don't want to see the nursing, you can stay at home during
those and I'll catch up with you later." Of course, the expected
result is that, faced with the alternative of being left at
home, she'll decide maybe she doesn't mind it so much after all.
It's harder when you're visiting, so if you can manage to make a
car or something available for yourself, you can have a bunch of
activities you're doing where nursing will occur. She can come
too--you'd love to have her--but you are nursing, so if she
doesn't want to see it you can just catch up with her later.
#Post#: 30735--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: ladameestmorte Date: May 9, 2019, 9:09 am
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I had a horrible nursing incident when my son was a baby. We
were flying; just the two of us, and he was a couple of months
old and teething. I had the window seat and there was a middle
aged couple in the two seats next to me. When the baby needed to
eat during the flight, I (discretely, I thought. I didn't have a
cover but I had on a nursing bra and top and there was no breast
exposed) started nursing him. The woman next to me looked
appalled and said, "WHAT are you doing?" I replied that I was
nursing my baby (duh!) and she said to go to the bathroom and do
it because no one "wants to look at your boob". I calmly said
that I was not going to make my baby eat in a bathroom and,
besides, I wasn't going to hog the bathroom when someone might
need it for its intended purpose.
She said something about how I was flashing my body around for
attention, which I swear I wasn't. She shut up then and I
continued to nurse while leaning my head back and closing my
eyes. When I opened them again when it was time to switch
sides, this woman was leaning over toward me and STARING AT MY
BREAST. I asked her what she was doing and she said that I
obviously wanted people to look at me so that was what she was
doing. I tried to ignore her for a few minutes then told her to
stop but her eyes were laser focused on me.
I finally rang for a flight attendant and explained the
situation but, amazingly, he, as well as the head flight
attendant, told me that they "couldn't tell passengers where to
look." I didn't want to show how upset I was but it was so hard
to hold back tears. Especially since this woman, who was still
staring at my chest, was now doing so with a cat ate the canary
smirk on her face.
I was done feeding him 20 minutes later and she finally went
back to her magazine but I felt so dirty after that and the rest
of the flight was the longest hour and a half of my life. I
swear, I still get upset thinking about that.
#Post#: 30737--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: NyaChan Date: May 9, 2019, 9:13 am
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What a disgusting person. Those attendants really dropped the
ball. Please know that decent people who overheard that would
think that woman was a complete jerk.
#Post#: 30746--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: lakey Date: May 9, 2019, 10:59 am
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Nursing in a bathroom is bad enough, but the suggestion to do it
in the tiny restrooms on airplanes is worse. We all look at a
situation like this and think about what could have been said to
her, and so on. The truth is that there are a few people out
there who are unreasonable and no matter what we say or do, they
will not change and they will continue to be unreasonable. It's
best to not engage them, so you did well.
And, yes, the flight attendants weren't helpful, but if there
weren't empty seats to move you to, there might not have been
anything they could do.
#Post#: 30748--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: Hanna Date: May 9, 2019, 11:29 am
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[quote author=lakey link=topic=1004.msg30746#msg30746
date=1557417567]
Nursing in a bathroom is bad enough, but the suggestion to do it
in the tiny restrooms on airplanes is worse. We all look at a
situation like this and think about what could have been said to
her, and so on. The truth is that there are a few people out
there who are unreasonable and no matter what we say or do, they
will not change and they will continue to be unreasonable. It's
best to not engage them, so you did well.
And, yes, the flight attendants weren't helpful, but if there
weren't empty seats to move you to, there might not have been
anything they could do.
[/quote]
This has been the excuse when passengers
groped/assaulted/harassed people in the same aisle. But they
could always find someone who will not be targeted and was
willing to switch seats if they asked. I would gladly change
seats with a nursing mother that was being harassed by another
woman.
If they can’t keep their passengers safe from such a simple
assault by one wretch, how could they be trusted to deal with
the more dangerous threats? If that’s the case, they shouldn’t
be operating an airline.
#Post#: 30749--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: Sycorax Date: May 9, 2019, 11:45 am
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I might have "accidentally" spilled a drink on her. Oops, the
baby was flailing around and knocked the cup over. :/ (actually
did happen to me on a flight once, but I just spilled on myself)
#Post#: 30933--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: Amethyst Anne Date: May 12, 2019, 10:04 pm
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I am going to add my two cents........
When OP’s SM said, “God laid this upon my heart...” This
sentence immediately came to my mind: “uh oh, this is not gonna
be good. SM don’t spout off about whatever is bugging you. Stop
now.”
My next thought is different children require different
comforting techniques. I nursed all four of my children, even
the twins. This was from 1978-79, 1982-83, and 1988-89. From the
first day out of the hospital, I draped a receiving blanket from
my shoulder, covering my breast and the top half of whichever
baby was being fed. Each of them was used to being under a tent
when eating. They gradually quit nursing when they found it was
quite fun to run around the house with a sippy cup. They’d get
cuddled at nighttime for sure or they’d hop into my lap and get
hugged and rocked.
In 2010, my sister and I were taking the ferry from Block Island
back to the Rhode Island harbor where her car was parked. A
young mother and her baby sat down in front of us and we all
started a conversation. Her baby (maybe a year old?) started to
fuss, and the lady unfastened the shoulder strap of her dress,
exposing her whole breast and her baby started to nurse. I grew
up in the 1960’s(the so-called Baby Boomer/Hippie/anything goes
Generation) It shouldn’t have shocked me, but I admit it did.
#Post#: 36296--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: TootsNYC Date: August 9, 2019, 10:17 am
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[quote]I was so mad when I got off the phone that I said the
word crap and my toddler told me "please don't say bad words."
LOL. (Funny enough, it's the only bad word he knows, so I can
say the others with impunity. I should have picked something
stronger.) As far as my husband and I can figure it out, she
realized she was way off base and she's trying really hard to
backpedal without admitting she was way off base in her initial
angry rant to me.
[/quote]
Wait until he gets to daycare and comes home fiercely insisting
that "stupid" is a bad word, and "shut up" is REALLY REALLY bad!
(not that I object to this standard, actually)
Let's hear it for backpedaling! it's how people adjust to
community norms while still saving face.
#Post#: 36353--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: wonderfullyanonymous Date: August 9, 2019, 7:58 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1004.msg36296#msg36296
date=1565363875]
[quote]I was so mad when I got off the phone that I said the
word crap and my toddler told me "please don't say bad words."
LOL. (Funny enough, it's the only bad word he knows, so I can
say the others with impunity. I should have picked something
stronger.) As far as my husband and I can figure it out, she
realized she was way off base and she's trying really hard to
backpedal without admitting she was way off base in her initial
angry rant to me.
[/quote]
Wait until he gets to daycare and comes home fiercely insisting
that "stupid" is a bad word, and "shut up" is REALLY REALLY bad!
(not that I object to this standard, actually)
Let's hear it for backpedaling! it's how people adjust to
community norms while still saving face.
[/quote]
I have a seriously bad potty mouth, bad enough I can give
lessons. I despise the words stupid and shut up, and I forbid my
children from using them.
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