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#Post#: 26682--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: Hanna Date: February 23, 2019, 10:43 am
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[quote author=Lula link=topic=1004.msg26679#msg26679
date=1550938873]
My yardstick is: if you're in a setting where it would be
inappropriate for anyone of any age to grab a snack, then it's
most likely also inappropriate to breastfeed or bottle-feed an
infant. Every worship service is going to vary in that regard.
[/quote]
I don’t agree with this simply because babies and toddlers have
different needs than adults. And I don’t believe in keeping the
parents away from church for the years it takes for their little
ones to develop enough to be able to wait for the bathroom or
learn to ride out hunger until it’s convenient to eat.
Most churches welcome the whole family and that means being
understanding about our varying needs at different ages and
mental capabilities.
#Post#: 26683--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: LurkingGurl Date: February 23, 2019, 11:20 am
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[quote author=NFPwife link=topic=1004.msg26666#msg26666
date=1550930844]
[quote author=katiekat2009 link=topic=1004.msg26648#msg26648
date=1550880873]
[quote author=NFPwife link=topic=1004.msg26575#msg26575
date=1550770937]
I've been following this with interest and I'm so glad you
mentioned the Pope's comments, Bada. Because they were the first
thing I thought of when I read your post. I, too, hate when
someone says, "God put it on my heart," and then tell me
something that is about them wanting me to change for them.
Also, at times the "message" is inconsistent with Church
teaching or the Gospels -so, selfishness masquerading as a
"message" in what seems like an attempt to manipulate me. (Two
times in my life, someone has said, "I feel compelled to tell
you this" or "God really wants me to say this to you" and both
times the messages were dead on and weren't something the
message carrier had knowledge of.)
Bada, if you get a chance, you might say to your MIL, "I'm not
sure that's from God, because it contradicts the Holy Father.
You might need to be sure where your messages are coming from."
I've seen nursing mothers in Mass and it didn't seem
inappropriate or out of place at all. Even when the kiddos were
toddlers. One time, the mother had a couple kiddos and was
nursing the youngest so we helped the older kids on with their
coats. We chatted a bit while we got the coats and accessories
on the small people. Again, no. big. deal. We know a lot of
ecological breastfeeding moms so the little ones come to
seminars and adult faith formation things and everyone is happy
to see the babies and moms.
[/quote]
Come on, people! Sex is natural too but you don't do it in a
church service! The focus should be on worship and you should
not provide a distraction for the people around you.
[/quote]
If you're saying there's a time a place for everything, I agree.
I think the time for breastfeeding is when the child wants the
feed and the place is wherever the child and mother are.
Comparing breastfeeding is church to having sex in church is
sexualizing the act of breastfeeding.
[/quote]
No, it's not. Breastfeeding for comfort and sex have a couple
things in common. They are both "natural" but more to the
point, they are both very intimate acts.
The problem here is the age of the child. Breastfeeding in
public, when you're going to be very open about it, is
tolerated because infants need to eat frequently. It's for
practicality and nutrition.
And while it is still an intimate act for nutrition, the infant
is helpless, socially, an extension of his mother.
A 2 year old is not. And the intimacy in public for a child
that can otherwise eat solid food, run around, is uncomfortable
to witness.
Pressing your child up against your bare chest is also a method
of comfort. Should men be able to open up their shirts in
public so they can press their 2 year old up against them for
comfort?
#Post#: 26686--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: Sycorax Date: February 23, 2019, 11:54 am
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Pretty sure OP is not taking her shirt off. Experienced
breastfeeders probably show less skin than someone with a
plunging neckline.
#Post#: 26691--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: LadyRexall Date: February 23, 2019, 12:57 pm
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[quote author=Pandorica link=topic=1004.msg26686#msg26686
date=1550944496]
Pretty sure OP is not taking her shirt off. Experienced
breastfeeders probably show less skin than someone with a
plunging neckline.
[/quote]
Agreed!
#Post#: 26697--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: Bada Date: February 23, 2019, 3:30 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=wonderfullyanonymous
link=topic=1004.msg26674#msg26674 date=1550933355]
I'm pretty sure God have far more pressing issues than worrying
about some waiter in a restaurant, seeing part of your breast. I
can put money on it, that he has probably seem more of some
woman's breast, in a top she wore into the restaurant, than what
he would have seen while you were nursing.
From now on, keep a receiving blanket with you. Tell her you
brought a blanket to cover with. When you start feeding the
baby, and she mentions the blanket, hand it to her, and tell her
she can cover herself so she doesn't have to look.
[/quote]
I. Am. Dying. I'm pretty sure this is the best solution. Though
I'll bring a dozen of them so I can pass them around to everyone
else posting on this thread who seems to think blankets are
necessary. And one for the waiter too. Don't forget his fragile
eyes. LOL!!!
#Post#: 26702--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: lisastitch Date: February 23, 2019, 6:05 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Lula link=topic=1004.msg26679#msg26679
date=1550938873]
My yardstick is: if you're in a setting where it would be
inappropriate for anyone of any age to grab a snack, then it's
most likely also inappropriate to breastfeed or bottle-feed an
infant. Every worship service is going to vary in that regard.
[/quote]
Except that . . . We ask people not to bring food or drink into
our sanctuary so they don't get spilled on the carpet. That's
not a problem with someone who is breast-feeding!
I do agree that generally that's a good yardstick.
#Post#: 26704--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: chigger Date: February 23, 2019, 6:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Pandorica link=topic=1004.msg26678#msg26678
date=1550938253]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1004.msg26672#msg26672
date=1550933088]
My main issue is that the child is not been nursed because it is
hungry. Instead, the breast is being used as a pacifier to
soothe the toddler. I think there are other options for soothing
young children. I would think that 90% of 2 year olds are soothe
and comforted in some manner other than use of a breast.
[/quote]
I agree, in general, a 2 year old should be old enough for other
methods of soothing in addition to BF. However, I don't think
OP is doing anything wrong here.
[/quote]
This is where I stand. I didn't and wouldn't offer a "snack" if
my kid were stressed, I would redirect in some way.
#Post#: 26709--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: LadyX Date: February 23, 2019, 8:22 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Bada link=topic=1004.msg26697#msg26697
date=1550957439]
[quote author=wonderfullyanonymous
link=topic=1004.msg26674#msg26674 date=1550933355]
I'm pretty sure God have far more pressing issues than worrying
about some waiter in a restaurant, seeing part of your breast. I
can put money on it, that he has probably seem more of some
woman's breast, in a top she wore into the restaurant, than what
he would have seen while you were nursing.
From now on, keep a receiving blanket with you. Tell her you
brought a blanket to cover with. When you start feeding the
baby, and she mentions the blanket, hand it to her, and tell her
she can cover herself so she doesn't have to look.
[/quote]
I. Am. Dying. I'm pretty sure this is the best solution. Though
I'll bring a dozen of them so I can pass them around to everyone
else posting on this thread who seems to think blankets are
necessary. And one for the waiter too. Don't forget his fragile
eyes. LOL!!!
[/quote]
Please do not make fun of your fellow posters.
Thank-you
#Post#: 26710--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: LadyRexall Date: February 23, 2019, 8:23 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Bada link=topic=1004.msg26697#msg26697
date=1550957439]
[quote author=wonderfullyanonymous
link=topic=1004.msg26674#msg26674 date=1550933355]
I'm pretty sure God have far more pressing issues than worrying
about some waiter in a restaurant, seeing part of your breast. I
can put money on it, that he has probably seem more of some
woman's breast, in a top she wore into the restaurant, than what
he would have seen while you were nursing.
From now on, keep a receiving blanket with you. Tell her you
brought a blanket to cover with. When you start feeding the
baby, and she mentions the blanket, hand it to her, and tell her
she can cover herself so she doesn't have to look.
[/quote]
I. Am. Dying. I'm pretty sure this is the best solution. Though
I'll bring a dozen of them so I can pass them around to everyone
else posting on this thread who seems to think blankets are
necessary. And one for the waiter too. Don't forget his fragile
eyes. LOL!!!
[/quote]
If the waiter is s typical guy and he *did* see anything, you
made his freaking day!
#Post#: 26711--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
By: Jem Date: February 23, 2019, 8:48 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=LadyRexall link=topic=1004.msg26691#msg26691
date=1550948260]
[quote author=Pandorica link=topic=1004.msg26686#msg26686
date=1550944496]
Pretty sure OP is not taking her shirt off. Experienced
breastfeeders probably show less skin than someone with a
plunging neckline.
[/quote]
Agreed!
[/quote]
At the risk of repeating myself and others, I think the
objection is to the age of the child (and the intimacy of the
act) and the apparent obviousness of the nursing (which I agree
- I cannot imagine discreetly nursing a two year old). Bada can
and should do what she feels is best for her and her child, but
she should be aware that her SM and others are uncomfortable
with her choices. She can do with that as she wants, but people
are going to have their opinions. She should own her behavior
and accept that some people, including her SM, are going to be
put off by it.
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