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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 26635--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: February 22, 2019, 2:22 pm
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--- Quote ---
> Yes, it's funny that God didn't give me the message directly.
And in regard to NFPWife's comments as well: My SM is not
Catholic, so some of this probably comes across to her
differently than it does to me. The Pope giving me "permission"
to do something doesn't have as much weight for her as it does
for me. Shrug.
--- End Quote ---
However, even in Protestant churches, the pastor is generally
the one charged with setting the tone. (My Lutheran minister
used to occasionally announce from the pulpit that children of
all ages were welcome IN the sanctuary for the whole service and
didn't need to be taken out or relegated to the available
nursery unless the -parents- found themselves more distracted
than they would like, and that the rest of us could certainly
cope with some evidence of children in the congregation.)
And so, "the top authority in our church body has said this, so
this is how our church does it, and your opinion is not relevant
here" is another way to approach that. Not that it's a shared
theology--just the opposite. That the authority of your
organization has ruled, and she'd not a member, so she doesn't
get a say.
#Post#: 26648--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: katiekat2009
Date: February 22, 2019, 6:14 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: NFPwife link ---
>
> I've been following this with interest and I'm so glad you
mentioned the Pope's comments, Bada. Because they were the first
thing I thought of when I read your post. I, too, hate when
someone says, "God put it on my heart," and then tell me
something that is about them wanting me to change for them.
Also, at times the "message" is inconsistent with Church
teaching or the Gospels -so, selfishness masquerading as a
"message" in what seems like an attempt to manipulate me. (Two
times in my life, someone has said, "I feel compelled to tell
you this" or "God really wants me to say this to you" and both
times the messages were dead on and weren't something the
message carrier had knowledge of.)
>
> Bada, if you get a chance, you might say to your MIL, "I'm not
sure that's from God, because it contradicts the Holy Father.
You might need to be sure where your messages are coming from."
>
> I've seen nursing mothers in Mass and it didn't seem
inappropriate or out of place at all. Even when the kiddos were
toddlers. One time, the mother had a couple kiddos and was
nursing the youngest so we helped the older kids on with their
coats. We chatted a bit while we got the coats and accessories
on the small people. Again, no. big. deal. We know a lot of
ecological breastfeeding moms so the little ones come to
seminars and adult faith formation things and everyone is happy
to see the babies and moms.
>
--- End Quote ---
Come on, people! Sex is natural too but you don't do it in a
church service! The focus should be on worship and you should
not provide a distraction for the people around you.
#Post#: 26649--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: Bales
Date: February 22, 2019, 6:45 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: katiekat2009 link ---
>
> [quote author=NFPwife link=topic=1004.msg26575#msg26575
date=1550770937]
> I've been following this with interest and I'm so glad you
mentioned the Pope's comments, Bada. Because they were the first
thing I thought of when I read your post. I, too, hate when
someone says, "God put it on my heart," and then tell me
something that is about them wanting me to change for them.
Also, at times the "message" is inconsistent with Church
teaching or the Gospels -so, selfishness masquerading as a
"message" in what seems like an attempt to manipulate me. (Two
times in my life, someone has said, "I feel compelled to tell
you this" or "God really wants me to say this to you" and both
times the messages were dead on and weren't something the
message carrier had knowledge of.)
>
> Bada, if you get a chance, you might say to your MIL, "I'm not
sure that's from God, because it contradicts the Holy Father.
You might need to be sure where your messages are coming from."
>
> I've seen nursing mothers in Mass and it didn't seem
inappropriate or out of place at all. Even when the kiddos were
toddlers. One time, the mother had a couple kiddos and was
nursing the youngest so we helped the older kids on with their
coats. We chatted a bit while we got the coats and accessories
on the small people. Again, no. big. deal. We know a lot of
ecological breastfeeding moms so the little ones come to
seminars and adult faith formation things and everyone is happy
to see the babies and moms.
>
--- End Quote ---
Come on, people! Sex is natural too but you don't do it in a
church service! The focus should be on worship and you should
not provide a distraction for the people around you.
[/quote]
So focus on the worship and stop looking if it bothers you.
You're free to focus your attention anywhere you choose, after
all. You are an adult, after all, right?
#Post#: 26653--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: February 22, 2019, 8:13 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Bales link ---
>
> [quote author=katiekat2009 link=topic=1004.msg26648#msg26648
date=1550880873]
> [quote author=NFPwife link=topic=1004.msg26575#msg26575
date=1550770937]
> I've been following this with interest and I'm so glad you
mentioned the Pope's comments, Bada. Because they were the first
thing I thought of when I read your post. I, too, hate when
someone says, "God put it on my heart," and then tell me
something that is about them wanting me to change for them.
Also, at times the "message" is inconsistent with Church
teaching or the Gospels -so, selfishness masquerading as a
"message" in what seems like an attempt to manipulate me. (Two
times in my life, someone has said, "I feel compelled to tell
you this" or "God really wants me to say this to you" and both
times the messages were dead on and weren't something the
message carrier had knowledge of.)
>
> Bada, if you get a chance, you might say to your MIL, "I'm not
sure that's from God, because it contradicts the Holy Father.
You might need to be sure where your messages are coming from."
>
> I've seen nursing mothers in Mass and it didn't seem
inappropriate or out of place at all. Even when the kiddos were
toddlers. One time, the mother had a couple kiddos and was
nursing the youngest so we helped the older kids on with their
coats. We chatted a bit while we got the coats and accessories
on the small people. Again, no. big. deal. We know a lot of
ecological breastfeeding moms so the little ones come to
seminars and adult faith formation things and everyone is happy
to see the babies and moms.
>
--- End Quote ---
Come on, people! Sex is natural too but you don't do it in a
church service! The focus should be on worship and you should
not provide a distraction for the people around you.
[/quote]
So focus on the worship and stop looking if it bothers you.
You're free to focus your attention anywhere you choose, after
all. You are an adult, after all, right?
[/quote]
I'd much rather a toddler be nursing and quiet in church than
noisy and disruptive. I find wiggly and/or loud children more
detrimental to my concentration.
#Post#: 26659--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: February 22, 2019, 9:51 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
OP, I'm assuming you didn't whip your top off in the middle of
the restaurant and flash yourself to all and sundry, right? I
mean, on the occasions that I've been around breastfeeding
mothers, the baby's head and bits of clothing generally
concealed any bare skin from sight.
So I think your step-mother is being ridiculous basing her
reasons on "the poor male waiter being exposed to the sight of
your breasts". I'm willing to bet he couldn't see much (if
anything!) at all. Is her religion one that places great
emphasis on female modesty? Because I can't think of any other
reason why she'd made such a big fuss about this.
#Post#: 26666--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: February 23, 2019, 8:07 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: katiekat2009 link ---
>
> [quote author=NFPwife link=topic=1004.msg26575#msg26575
date=1550770937]
> I've been following this with interest and I'm so glad you
mentioned the Pope's comments, Bada. Because they were the first
thing I thought of when I read your post. I, too, hate when
someone says, "God put it on my heart," and then tell me
something that is about them wanting me to change for them.
Also, at times the "message" is inconsistent with Church
teaching or the Gospels -so, selfishness masquerading as a
"message" in what seems like an attempt to manipulate me. (Two
times in my life, someone has said, "I feel compelled to tell
you this" or "God really wants me to say this to you" and both
times the messages were dead on and weren't something the
message carrier had knowledge of.)
>
> Bada, if you get a chance, you might say to your MIL, "I'm not
sure that's from God, because it contradicts the Holy Father.
You might need to be sure where your messages are coming from."
>
> I've seen nursing mothers in Mass and it didn't seem
inappropriate or out of place at all. Even when the kiddos were
toddlers. One time, the mother had a couple kiddos and was
nursing the youngest so we helped the older kids on with their
coats. We chatted a bit while we got the coats and accessories
on the small people. Again, no. big. deal. We know a lot of
ecological breastfeeding moms so the little ones come to
seminars and adult faith formation things and everyone is happy
to see the babies and moms.
>
--- End Quote ---
Come on, people! Sex is natural too but you don't do it in a
church service! The focus should be on worship and you should
not provide a distraction for the people around you.
[/quote]
If you're saying there's a time a place for everything, I agree.
I think the time for breastfeeding is when the child wants the
feed and the place is wherever the child and mother are.
Comparing breastfeeding is church to having sex in church is
sexualizing the act of breastfeeding.
#Post#: 26672--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: February 23, 2019, 8:44 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: NFPwife link ---
>
> [quote author=katiekat2009 link=topic=1004.msg26648#msg26648
date=1550880873]
> [quote author=NFPwife link=topic=1004.msg26575#msg26575
date=1550770937]
> I've been following this with interest and I'm so glad you
mentioned the Pope's comments, Bada. Because they were the first
thing I thought of when I read your post. I, too, hate when
someone says, "God put it on my heart," and then tell me
something that is about them wanting me to change for them.
Also, at times the "message" is inconsistent with Church
teaching or the Gospels -so, selfishness masquerading as a
"message" in what seems like an attempt to manipulate me. (Two
times in my life, someone has said, "I feel compelled to tell
you this" or "God really wants me to say this to you" and both
times the messages were dead on and weren't something the
message carrier had knowledge of.)
>
> Bada, if you get a chance, you might say to your MIL, "I'm not
sure that's from God, because it contradicts the Holy Father.
You might need to be sure where your messages are coming from."
>
> I've seen nursing mothers in Mass and it didn't seem
inappropriate or out of place at all. Even when the kiddos were
toddlers. One time, the mother had a couple kiddos and was
nursing the youngest so we helped the older kids on with their
coats. We chatted a bit while we got the coats and accessories
on the small people. Again, no. big. deal. We know a lot of
ecological breastfeeding moms so the little ones come to
seminars and adult faith formation things and everyone is happy
to see the babies and moms.
>
--- End Quote ---
Come on, people! Sex is natural too but you don't do it in a
church service! The focus should be on worship and you should
not provide a distraction for the people around you.
[/quote]
If you're saying there's a time a place for everything, I agree.
I think the time for breastfeeding is when the child wants the
feed and the place is wherever the child and mother are.
Comparing breastfeeding is church to having sex in church is
sexualizing the act of breastfeeding.
[/quote]
I agree with this. I do think that feeding a child is
appropriate where ever they happen to be.
My main issue is that the child is not been nursed because it is
hungry. Instead, the breast is being used as a pacifier to
soothe the toddler. I think there are other options for soothing
young children. I would think that 90% of 2 year olds are soothe
and comforted in some manner other than use of a breast.
#Post#: 26674--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: wonderfullyanonymous
Date: February 23, 2019, 8:49 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I'm pretty sure God have far more pressing issues than worrying
about some waiter in a restaurant, seeing part of your breast. I
can put money on it, that he has probably seem more of some
woman's breast, in a top she wore into the restaurant, than what
he would have seen while you were nursing.
From now on, keep a receiving blanket with you. Tell her you
brought a blanket to cover with. When you start feeding the
baby, and she mentions the blanket, hand it to her, and tell her
she can cover herself so she doesn't have to look.
#Post#: 26678--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: February 23, 2019, 10:10 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Hmmm link ---
>
>
> My main issue is that the child is not been nursed because it
is hungry. Instead, the breast is being used as a pacifier to
soothe the toddler. I think there are other options for soothing
young children. I would think that 90% of 2 year olds are soothe
and comforted in some manner other than use of a breast.
>
--- End Quote ---
I agree, in general, a 2 year old should be old enough for other
methods of soothing in addition to BF. However, I don't think
OP is doing anything wrong here.
#Post#: 26679--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member is appalled by you nursing publicly
DIR By: Lula
Date: February 23, 2019, 10:21 am
---------------------------------------------------------
My yardstick is: if you're in a setting where it would be
inappropriate for anyone of any age to grab a snack, then it's
most likely also inappropriate to breastfeed or bottle-feed an
infant. Every worship service is going to vary in that regard.
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