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#Post#: 26755--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: gramma dishes
Date: February 24, 2019, 7:39 pm
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--- Quote from: Contrarian link ---
>
> I agree the end of a performance is really confusing these
days. The amount of people that high tail it out of there before
the applause is even half way through is surprising.
>
--- End Quote ---
I know why they do that. Some of them have to take commuter
trains and at night they only leave a very few times. If you're
not there when the last one leaves the station, you get left
behind with no way home except a very expensive cab ride!
#Post#: 26757--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: February 24, 2019, 8:27 pm
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--- Quote from: gramma dishes link ---
>
> [quote author=Contrarian link=topic=1002.msg26741#msg26741
date=1551040121]
> I agree the end of a performance is really confusing these
days. The amount of people that high tail it out of there before
the applause is even half way through is surprising.
>
--- End Quote ---
I know why they do that. Some of them have to take commuter
trains and at night they only leave a very few times. If you're
not there when the last one leaves the station, you get left
behind with no way home except a very expensive cab ride!
[/quote]
Unfortunately, it is not true for my city. My best guess is that
they are racing to be out of the theater first so that they can
get to the parking garages first and not get tied into traffic.
It's true that if you leave with the crowd that you can probably
add at least a thirty minute delay to your departure. I
understand that that can be annoying, but I always factor that
into my evening.
#Post#: 26765--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: lowspark
Date: February 25, 2019, 9:05 am
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I agree that it's a two-way street as NyaChan said. For my part,
I always just go ahead and say "Excuse me" even if the person
has already acknowledged my presence and is moving. It's just
the polite thing to do. In my experience, sometimes people see
you and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they are turned away
from the direction you are approaching from and engaged in
conversation or reading the program. It happens. I don't see it
as a huge deal that suddenly gives me permission to climb over
people or get huffy about it.
And although this story is about the aisle seat, it can just as
easily be middle of the row. What's the big deal to just say,
"Excuse me", whether or not the person you are trying to pass
noticed you?
#Post#: 26826--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Songbird
Date: February 26, 2019, 8:57 am
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I go to concerts in a venue that has no public transportation,
everyone must drive to the venue, and yet I see people headed
for the exits during the bows, or even during the encore.
#Post#: 26853--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: February 26, 2019, 3:01 pm
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--- Quote from: lowspark link ---
>
> ...I always just go ahead and say "Excuse me" even if the
person has already acknowledged my presence and is moving. It's
just the polite thing to do. ...
>
--- End Quote ---
Actually, that's true--I make some acknowledgement to the person
I'm disturbing, even when we all know there's simply no other
way for me to get out of my seat for that crucial mid-event pee
break.
If I don't say anything verbally, I catch their eye and smile at
a bare minimum!
#Post#: 27187--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Twik
Date: March 5, 2019, 10:40 am
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--- Quote from: Songbird link ---
>
> the fact that he literally climbed over me to get out of the
row...that's what bothered me.
>
--- End Quote ---
What do you mean by "literally climbed over me"? Pushed past
your legs?
Some people may believe it's more polite (particularly if you
show no inclination to rise) to push past rather than insist you
get up. They may be wrong, but I suspect that's what he was
trying to do. The staring was part of his attempt to psychically
influence you to move without actually asking you to do so. I
think it's part of the "it's rude to ask for anything directly,
but fine to hint vaguely" mindset.
#Post#: 27190--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Contrarian
Date: March 5, 2019, 12:25 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Twik link ---
>
> [quote author=Songbird link=topic=1002.msg26444#msg26444
date=1550674224]
> the fact that he literally climbed over me to get out of the
row...that's what bothered me.
>
--- End Quote ---
What do you mean by "literally climbed over me"? Pushed past
your legs?
Some people may believe it's more polite (particularly if you
show no inclination to rise) to push past rather than insist you
get up. They may be wrong, but I suspect that's what he was
trying to do. The staring was part of his attempt to psychically
influence you to move without actually asking you to do so. I
think it's part of the "it's rude to ask for anything directly,
but fine to hint vaguely" mindset.
[/quote]
However, saying “excuse me” covers all that. It alerts the
person that you would like to pass, and allows them, without
being asked, to decide whether they will stand for you or move
their legs to the side.
#Post#: 27197--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Twik
Date: March 5, 2019, 12:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Contrarian link ---
>
> [quote author=Twik link=topic=1002.msg27187#msg27187
date=1551804014]
> [quote author=Songbird link=topic=1002.msg26444#msg26444
date=1550674224]
> the fact that he literally climbed over me to get out of the
row...that's what bothered me.
>
--- End Quote ---
What do you mean by "literally climbed over me"? Pushed past
your legs?
Some people may believe it's more polite (particularly if you
show no inclination to rise) to push past rather than insist you
get up. They may be wrong, but I suspect that's what he was
trying to do. The staring was part of his attempt to psychically
influence you to move without actually asking you to do so. I
think it's part of the "it's rude to ask for anything directly,
but fine to hint vaguely" mindset.
[/quote]
However, saying “excuse me” covers all that. It alerts the
person that you would like to pass, and allows them, without
being asked, to decide whether they will stand for you or move
their legs to the side.
[/quote]
I agree, but I'm in the "if you want something, ask for it"
camp. Some people, however, seem to feel that a direct request,
even if in the politest terms possible, is too "pushy," and
prefer the passive-aggressive hint method. Then they get mad if
the hint is not recognized, which might lead to the man
squeezing past her legs with evidence of annoyance, because she
didn't respond to his "clear" (to his mind) non-verbal,
semi-psychic method of communication by staring.
#Post#: 27201--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Songbird
Date: March 5, 2019, 1:22 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Twik link ---
>
> [quote author=Songbird link=topic=1002.msg26444#msg26444
date=1550674224]
> the fact that he literally climbed over me to get out of the
row...that's what bothered me.
>
--- End Quote ---
What do you mean by "literally climbed over me"? Pushed past
your legs?
Some people may believe it's more polite (particularly if you
show no inclination to rise) to push past rather than insist you
get up. They may be wrong, but I suspect that's what he was
trying to do. The staring was part of his attempt to psychically
influence you to move without actually asking you to do so. I
think it's part of the "it's rude to ask for anything directly,
but fine to hint vaguely" mindset.
[/quote]
I was in my seat, my knees were touching the seat in front of
mine. He didn't push past me. He stepped over me, he
essentially straddled me, if he'd lost his balance he would
have fallen into my lap, if I had lifted my knees he'd be
singing soprano, if I had stood up we both would have fallen
into the seat in front of me. I conider that a violation of my
personal space.
#Post#: 27254--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Aleko
Date: March 6, 2019, 1:35 am
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Quite apart from being, as you rightly say, a violation of your
personal space, what an extraordinary thing to do. Even if he
had got the impression from the earlier interaction that you two
weren't keen on standing up to let him by, you don't clamber
over seated people! You just don't.
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