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#Post#: 26444--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Songbird
Date: February 20, 2019, 8:50 am
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--- Quote from: Kiwipinball link ---
>
> [quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1002.msg26438#msg26438
date=1550673004]
> [quote author=wonderfullyanonymous
link=topic=1002.msg26437#msg26437 date=1550672549]
> When sitting in tight rows, any person wishing to get in or
get out should say excuse me. Just because someone chooses to
sit on an aisle seat, should not automatically relinquish them
to being a psychic. It was very rude of standing guy to stare
until they moved. Also, while the OP's comment was a little
brash, I don't say that I blame her. First he stares until they
stand up, then he crawls over her after he BF left, that would
make me really uncomfortable.
>
--- End Quote ---
But why did he need to stare? Why weren't they anticipating
others needing to enter a row and notice the man had paused? In
their position, I would immediately be standing. It would be the
same with intermission. I find it rude of those on the end to
remain seated and not stand up to allow others to pass.
[/quote]
Because they didn't notice him right away? It's good to try to
be aware but depending on how early you get there, I don't think
it's realistic to be constantly hyper-vigilant. Which is why
saying excuse me is very effective to get people's attention. I
agree, it's rude to not stand and allow others to pass, but I
think those who want to pass should at least say something.
There are a lot of people walking around before a performance
starts and that allows people to know that this is your row and
you want to go sit down now (you're not waiting for others in
your party, looking for your row, appreciating the view,
whatever).
[/quote]
Exactly. I'm not a mind reader.
the fact that he literally climbed over me to get out of the
row...that's what bothered me.
#Post#: 26460--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: February 20, 2019, 11:10 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Songbird link ---
>
> [quote author=Kiwipinball link=topic=1002.msg26440#msg26440
date=1550673831]
> [quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1002.msg26438#msg26438
date=1550673004]
> [quote author=wonderfullyanonymous
link=topic=1002.msg26437#msg26437 date=1550672549]
> When sitting in tight rows, any person wishing to get in or
get out should say excuse me. Just because someone chooses to
sit on an aisle seat, should not automatically relinquish them
to being a psychic. It was very rude of standing guy to stare
until they moved. Also, while the OP's comment was a little
brash, I don't say that I blame her. First he stares until they
stand up, then he crawls over her after he BF left, that would
make me really uncomfortable.
>
--- End Quote ---
But why did he need to stare? Why weren't they anticipating
others needing to enter a row and notice the man had paused? In
their position, I would immediately be standing. It would be the
same with intermission. I find it rude of those on the end to
remain seated and not stand up to allow others to pass.
[/quote]
Because they didn't notice him right away? It's good to try to
be aware but depending on how early you get there, I don't think
it's realistic to be constantly hyper-vigilant. Which is why
saying excuse me is very effective to get people's attention. I
agree, it's rude to not stand and allow others to pass, but I
think those who want to pass should at least say something.
There are a lot of people walking around before a performance
starts and that allows people to know that this is your row and
you want to go sit down now (you're not waiting for others in
your party, looking for your row, appreciating the view,
whatever).
[/quote]
Exactly. I'm not a mind reader.
the fact that he literally climbed over me to get out of the
row...that's what bothered me.
[/quote]
OP had to be aware for a period of time if she felt he was
staring at her. If I'm sitting at the end of a row and I look up
and see someone looking at me, I immediately query if they need
in and start standing. So would my DH. He wouldn't need to be
prompted to stand to let someone in.
Had you stood up during intermission, he would not have needed
to climb over you.
I said I agreed the man should have been more focal, but it
really annoys me when those on the end continue to sit during
intermission, forcing those wanting to exit a row to ask them to
move.
#Post#: 26495--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: wonderfullyanonymous
Date: February 20, 2019, 4:46 pm
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If he had said excuse me, he would not have had to stare them
down. I am one of those people who tends to zone out when I'm
watching something. If you stand there and stare at me, I'm
certainly going to eventually notice you staring at me, why not
just say excuse me, then one can move out of the way.
I was always taught, when entering and leaving closed seating,
you ALWAYS excuse yourself. Staring is rude.
#Post#: 26496--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Bada
Date: February 20, 2019, 4:51 pm
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I like what you said. I feel like that's one of those comebacks
I'd never have in the moment, and it's awesome you got it out!
For some reason, he thinks it's OK to just climb over people.
You let him know it's not. Hopefully he takes that and reflects
on it.
It's hard enough to know if people are waiting to get into your
row or the row in front or behind, but if you're at the end of a
rather long aisle of seats, you could be forced to play lookout
for 20 different people who might be entering your aisle. You'd
never be able to read the program, check your phone, or talk to
your partner (or at least you couldn't turn to face him/her)
while you searched for all 20 people who might want to enter.
That seems impractical in a world where there are words
specifically tailored to getting your attention, like "excuse
me."
Sure, at intermission maybe you could have stood up. But again,
he should have used his words.
I had a momentary epiphany and thought "maybe this man literally
COULDN'T talk and that's why he didn't." But then I realized he
did talk when he told you you didn't need to stand... So yeah,
no excuse for his actions.
#Post#: 26675--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: February 23, 2019, 8:56 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: wonderfullyanonymous link ---
>
> If he had said excuse me, he would not have had to stare them
down. I am one of those people who tends to zone out when I'm
watching something. If you stand there and stare at me, I'm
certainly going to eventually notice you staring at me, why not
just say excuse me, then one can move out of the way.
>
> I was always taught, when entering and leaving closed seating,
you ALWAYS excuse yourself. Staring is rude.
>
--- End Quote ---
Since this sounds like it was life theater and the performance
had not started, I don't know what the OP and her companion
would be so engrossed in. And as I stated, I think it's the
responsibility of the people on the ends stay aware of their
surroundings and be prepared to allow others to pass during the
start and at intermission.
#Post#: 26699--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: February 23, 2019, 4:03 pm
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I think he should have used his words.
I also think it's good to be aware of someone wanting to get
out, especially if you're near the end of the aisle because you
don't have the movement of other people to let you know someone
wants in. (Did other people move out of his way while he was on
his way out? Peripheral vision should alert you, and he
shouldn't need to ask unless you haven't noticed.)
If you don't notice, then yes, he should say and should NOT just
climb over you.
I kind of like your comment, actually.
#Post#: 26701--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: NyaChan
Date: February 23, 2019, 4:44 pm
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This is a two-way street. People in the aisles should be aware
that people may need to get in and good natured about it (not
that OP wasn’t, just have had people rolling eyes at me and
sighing heavily in the past). On the other side, people coming
in need to be patient and prompt the aisle seat if they don’t
immediately notice them. It’s silly for them to just stand
there staring, not to mention a little odd.
#Post#: 26728--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Contrarian
Date: February 24, 2019, 10:57 am
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I agree with the above, it’s a two way street. Everyone knows
what they are there for and how this is going to play out.
The people with the aisle seats (if I can’t get one, I can’t
attend the theatre/concert, I can’t last two hours without
having to pee despite going right before hand) know that they
will be constantly needing to stand and let people in and out,
especially as the theatre is filling up. There’s no point in
getting into anything other than light conversation or checking
to make sure you’ve muted or turned off your phone while the
theatre is filling up. You absolutely know that you’re going to
have to let people in repeatedly.
I think people sitting in the centre of rows should do their
best to remain there for the duration of the show, and only try
to shuffle in and out at the beginning, end and intermissions,
however, the rest of us can’t get too agitated if someone really
needs to get out.
I find it hard to imagine not realizing someone is on their way
out of an aisle, so I’m not sure how this guy even got the
chance to climb over OP without their seeing it coming and
preemptively getting up. I’ll notice someone stand up in the
middle of a long row and start moving, and as soon as
intermission is called, and I’m on the aisle, I look for it.
But some people have trouble with peripheral vision, so maybe
that’s it.
From my experience, as soon as intermission is called, there is
always someone from the row getting up and going out so if I’m
not going anywhere, I’ll stand up regardless until it looks like
everyone who wants out is out.
This is why I don’t understand the confusion, we’ve all been
there and know what happens as the theatre fills and as the
intermission is called. I don’t understand why OP didn’t see
this guy coming and then going (until he was already climbing
over her), especially since OP loves the theatre and must be
used to it.
However, OP didn’t see anyone coming or going so that person
should have said excuse me, both times, and there’s no excuse
for climbing over someone without any indication that they were
about to attempt to do so.
It seems to be that both parties were equally as clueless.
#Post#: 26739--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: February 24, 2019, 1:56 pm
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When I have the aisle seat, at the beginning of intermission, I
will typically stand to stretch my legs and depending on the
set-up of the theater, I will step away from my seat. Partly
this is selfish, I typically do not like sitting that long, but
I figure it also gives people in the middle "permission" to
move, too. However, I have done this, thought everyone left who
wanted to, sat back down and then was surprised by an extra
individual.
The more typical issue that I have been having is during the
bows. We acknowledge the performers by applauding at the end,
but it seems that more and more people are too concerned with
getting out of the theater to do so. In a few cases, the people
have tried to push past me. I find it rather obnoxious.
#Post#: 26741--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Contrarian
Date: February 24, 2019, 2:28 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I agree the end of a performance is really confusing these days.
The amount of people that high tail it out of there before the
applause is even half way through is surprising.
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