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#Post#: 26258--------------------------------------------------
theater etiquette
DIR By: Songbird
Date: February 18, 2019, 2:03 pm
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Forgive me while I role my eyes.
So last night my boyfriend and I went to the theater. (I love
live theater!)
We had aisle seats. A man who was seated in the middle of the
row really got on my nerves.
We were already in our seats when he arrived. I never have a
problem standing up to let people pass me to get to their seats.
but...
Well, this guy never said "excuse me" or "can I get past you?"
He simply stared at us until I told my boyfriend to stand up and
let him pass.
Intermission came, and my boyfriend got up. I stayed in my
seat. I was reading my playbill when the guy from the middle of
the row literally climbed over me to get to the aisle.
When he came back a few minutes later to take his seat, he told
me "You don't have to get up."
I replied "Yes, I do. I'm not going to have you climb all over
me again."
Crickets.
Did I do OK? Would you have handled this differently?
#Post#: 26259--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Jem
Date: February 18, 2019, 2:14 pm
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I think he could have handled it differently, but I don't know
that it was a huge faux pas.
Some people are hyper-"polite" and apologetic over normal human
interaction, and that grates on some people (including me). I
think he could have been "nicer" about the interaction, but it's
normal to expect that a person would allow another to pass into
their seat, and it's normal to be mildly inconvenienced when
this happens. Maybe he thought being quiet was more important
than "asking" for permission to do what he was absolutely going
to do anyway (get to his seat, or vice versa).
I think overall you both were probably irritated with each
other. It could have gone down differently, but it probably
wouldn't have made sense to do anything differently than you
did.
#Post#: 26263--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: lowspark
Date: February 18, 2019, 3:42 pm
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I think the proper thing to do is for the person who is trying
to pass to say "excuse me" and the person who is seated to
either move their legs enough that the person can pass, or if
that's not possible, to stand to allow them to pass.
I don't think it's ok to climb over people unless the person
refuses to move and make room.
#Post#: 26315--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: February 19, 2019, 7:52 am
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Most of the interactions that I have involve the person saying,
"Excuse me that is my seat" or "May I get through". As lowspark
mentioned, this allows the individual to try to make the space
for the person to pass (even if that just means moving one's
feet out of the way.) I think staring at someone or simply
climbing over them are clumsy at best (but probably leaning
towards the rude end.) In the very least, notifying someone that
you are passing allows them to prepare their body like turning
one's head so that you are not staring at someone's butt! ;D
I have had people say, "There's no need to get up; I can squeeze
by", so I assume that that is not considered rude. However, I
prefer to allow the seated person to decide what is best. I have
such long legs, that I typically stand and allow my seat to fold
up (assuming that I'm not on the aisle), as that typically
allows the passing to go smoother when I am involved.
#Post#: 26331--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: February 19, 2019, 10:14 am
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I think people who choose to sit on the aisles should be aware
of people trying to pass them so I'm struggling why you and your
BF stayed seated when the man was standing by the aisle. It was
obvious that he needed to pass.
Yes, the man should have said an "excuse me" to get your
attention. But given that it was intermission and you were
sitting on the end, I believe you should have gotten up and move
out of the way so that you do not impede others wanting to exit.
#Post#: 26398--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Surly
Date: February 19, 2019, 8:10 pm
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--- Quote from: Hmmm link ---
>
> I think people who choose to sit on the aisles should be aware
of people trying to pass them so I'm struggling why you and your
BF stayed seated when the man was standing by the aisle. It was
obvious that he needed to pass.
>
> Yes, the man should have said an "excuse me" to get your
attention. But given that it was intermission and you were
sitting on the end, I believe you should have gotten up and move
out of the way so that you do not impede others wanting to exit.
>
--- End Quote ---
Agreed, the aisle is my favourite spot so I sit there a lot, and
this is how I handle it -- keep an eye out for anyone I'd expect
to want to pass by me. Some people are more comfortable not
getting up and having people squeeze by them, but I prefer to
get up and out of the way, so I am proactive about it.
#Post#: 26437--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: wonderfullyanonymous
Date: February 20, 2019, 8:22 am
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When sitting in tight rows, any person wishing to get in or get
out should say excuse me. Just because someone chooses to sit on
an aisle seat, should not automatically relinquish them to being
a psychic. It was very rude of standing guy to stare until they
moved. Also, while the OP's comment was a little brash, I don't
say that I blame her. First he stares until they stand up, then
he crawls over her after he BF left, that would make me really
uncomfortable.
#Post#: 26438--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: February 20, 2019, 8:30 am
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--- Quote from: wonderfullyanonymous link ---
>
> When sitting in tight rows, any person wishing to get in or
get out should say excuse me. Just because someone chooses to
sit on an aisle seat, should not automatically relinquish them
to being a psychic. It was very rude of standing guy to stare
until they moved. Also, while the OP's comment was a little
brash, I don't say that I blame her. First he stares until they
stand up, then he crawls over her after he BF left, that would
make me really uncomfortable.
>
--- End Quote ---
But why did he need to stare? Why weren't they anticipating
others needing to enter a row and notice the man had paused? In
their position, I would immediately be standing. It would be the
same with intermission. I find it rude of those on the end to
remain seated and not stand up to allow others to pass.
#Post#: 26440--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Kiwipinball
Date: February 20, 2019, 8:43 am
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--- Quote from: Hmmm link ---
>
> [quote author=wonderfullyanonymous
link=topic=1002.msg26437#msg26437 date=1550672549]
> When sitting in tight rows, any person wishing to get in or
get out should say excuse me. Just because someone chooses to
sit on an aisle seat, should not automatically relinquish them
to being a psychic. It was very rude of standing guy to stare
until they moved. Also, while the OP's comment was a little
brash, I don't say that I blame her. First he stares until they
stand up, then he crawls over her after he BF left, that would
make me really uncomfortable.
>
--- End Quote ---
But why did he need to stare? Why weren't they anticipating
others needing to enter a row and notice the man had paused? In
their position, I would immediately be standing. It would be the
same with intermission. I find it rude of those on the end to
remain seated and not stand up to allow others to pass.
[/quote]
Because they didn't notice him right away? It's good to try to
be aware but depending on how early you get there, I don't think
it's realistic to be constantly hyper-vigilant. Which is why
saying excuse me is very effective to get people's attention. I
agree, it's rude to not stand and allow others to pass, but I
think those who want to pass should at least say something.
There are a lot of people walking around before a performance
starts and that allows people to know that this is your row and
you want to go sit down now (you're not waiting for others in
your party, looking for your row, appreciating the view,
whatever).
#Post#: 26443--------------------------------------------------
Re: theater etiquette
DIR By: Songbird
Date: February 20, 2019, 8:48 am
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--- Quote from: Hmmm link ---
>
> I think people who choose to sit on the aisles should be aware
of people trying to pass them so I'm struggling why you and your
BF stayed seated when the man was standing by the aisle. It was
obvious that he needed to pass.
>
> Yes, the man should have said an "excuse me" to get your
attention. But given that it was intermission and you were
sitting on the end, I believe you should have gotten up and move
out of the way so that you do not impede others wanting to exit.
>
--- End Quote ---
and how are we to know he's sitting in our row, not the row
behind us or in front of us?
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