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       #Post#: 3545--------------------------------------------------
       Pokemon Legends Awakened - Book 1, The Kanto Saga Discussion 
       By: TitanDragonLord Date: August 7, 2013, 10:08 am
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       Leave any criticism, ideas or theories here! ^^
       #Post#: 3546--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Pokemon Legends Awakened - Book 1, The Kanto Saga Discussion
        
       By: Aurauris Date: August 7, 2013, 1:44 pm
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       [font=georgia][color=#5694EB]No criticism from me! I love your
       clear-cut imagery, how you paint out the scene without getting
       too wordy or forgetting to include details broader than the
       immediate focus of action, like with the sudden spreading of
       fires throughout the Mansion with the final psychic pulse.
       [quote]. . . Arcanine, a large dog like Pokemon with a cream
       colored mane and tail and an orange body slashed with stripes of
       black.[/quote][font=georgia][color=#5694EB] GREAT umph in this
       adjective here, it fits not only the intensity of Arcanine's
       appearance, but also the chaos caused by and desperation to
       subdue Mewtwo.
       Along those lines, my only suggestion would be to include more
       of the succinct, vivid imagery you've already shown us, like
       here:
       [quote]. . . suspended in this was a large pokemon with distinct
       feline features. It had pale grey skin, a long purple tail and
       two blunt horns could be made out on its'
       head.[/quote][font=georgia][color=#5694EB] . . . to replace just
       a few of your proper nouns and give your sentences a smidgen
       more variety, i.e. "feline-like creature" or "exotic Pokemon" in
       place of Mewtwo, "cheerily-attired scientist" for Blaine, and so
       on. Other than that, everything looks fit as a fiddle and has
       very much captured my attention! *Smiles with a bright round of
       applause*
       #Post#: 3549--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Pokemon Legends Awakened - Book 1, The Kanto Saga Discussion
        
       By: Shadows Date: August 9, 2013, 12:34 am
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       Can't go into great detail like Aura xD but i really liked this.
       Just...only thing that bugged me was when you referred
       toArcanine as a "dog Pokemon" I think it would have been correct
       to have used his species name "legendary Pokemon" but can see
       why it would have caused confusion. Also, I'd like to help out
       with these if you need me :P we've talked about Pokelore enough
       xD
       Keep up the great work buddy!
       #Post#: 3550--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Pokemon Legends Awakened - Book 1, The Kanto Saga Discussion
        
       By: TitanDragonLord Date: August 9, 2013, 4:15 am
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       Yeah, I didn't want to go round calling it a legendary pokemon
       when the main premise of the stories is legendary Pokemon, I
       thought 'dog like' was the best way I could capture Arcanine's
       image. Thanks you two for the help ^^
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