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A Phoenix Risen
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#Post#: 2776--------------------------------------------------
Sleepless Nights
By: Veranex Date: October 24, 2012, 9:27 pm
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Before I post this, I need to give this a warning. It has abuse
and language in it. So read it at your own risk. I also moved
around some of the cuss words, like spelling, so you guys know
what words I mean. Seeing as this forums will turn them into
"****".
“You stupid, worthless, useless piece of siht!” He roared at me.
I whimpered and curled myself into a ball, flinching as if every
verbal blow was physical. It hurt..it hurt each and every time,
and part of me was begging, screaming really, for it to be over.
That it wouldn't go further than it has before in the past.
I felt his hand grab my hair and drag me out of my pitiful ball
and hauled me up.
“Well!?” He screamed at me. “What do you have to say for
yourself?”
“I-I-I’m sorry.” I stammered out. “I’ll try to never do it
again.”
“You’ll try? TRY?! You better do better than that, you hear
me?!”
“Yes! Yes!” I whimpered, tears streaming down my face.
“There’s a good girl...” he said. Then he slammed me against the
wall, and I bit back my cry of pain.
“Now pick this siht up and go re-make dinner” he commanded as he
flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV.
I shakily got to my feet and slowly made my way to the kitchen,
seeing my hard made dinner, only a little burnt, thrown against
a wall and ruined. I dared not to even let out a sigh, just went
over to the pantry and tried to find something that I could make
quickly, yet still would make him happy.
I glanced over and saw a box that contained most of the stuff I
needed for homemade pizza, grabbed it, and silently thanking
whatever that was out there that the oven was already warm and
would pre-heat quickly.
“How long will dinner take, woman, I’m starving here!” I heard
him yell over the TV.
“Thirty minutes tops!” I answered, praying my voice wouldn’t
come out as scared or frightened. Instead of replying, he just
grunted. I had to hurry and get this made, so I pushed the pain
I was feeling away from me and just focused on my task.
Dinner was ready right when it hit thirty minutes, and I was so
hoping the night would get better...but of course, it didn’t. I
brought him a beer and two slices of pizza, warning him “It may
still be a little hot, so you may want to let it cool for a
minute or two.” and he took it from me, not taking his eyes off
the game.
Then there was a loud knock on the door. I jumped up in surprise
and glanced over at him. He was staring at me so intensely that
I was getting more nervous and scared by the second.
“Expecting someone, darling?” He said coldly.
I shook my head. “N-no. Not at all.”
“Then go answer it.”
His voice was too cold, too quiet...that’s when I knew how close
his temper was to the surface. I nodded and quickly walked over
to the door, hoping none of my bruises were showing, and opened
it.
And there stood my best friend since childhood, Jasmine. She was
about five foot five inches, had blonde hair past her shoulders,
and bright blue eyes. She studied me, looking me up and down,
taking notice of what was wrong. Out of so many people, she knew
what was going on. I never told her, and I have never admitted
to it. She keeps trying to get me to stay with her some nights,
to see if I will spill...but I am far too much a coward to let
anyone know. Besides...that fate would end up being a
disaster...for everyone.
“Jas,” I hissed at her. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would drop by...”
She said as she sniffed the air, just walking in. “Do I smell
homemade pizza?”
“Who is it, babe?” I heard him ask, his voice all sugar and
nice. He always gets on his best behavior when in public or when
people are over...he’s the sweetest, kindest, caring
person...like the person I fell in love with.
“It’s just me, Phil.” Jas answered, not buying the tone. “I was
just in the neighborhood, since I had to run a few errands this
way, and figured it’s been so long since I’ve seen my Belle.
I’ve got gossip to catch her up on.”
My stomach started to churn with fear. I knew Phil wasn’t going
to like this, not at all. Once she leaves, he will blame me for
making her come over, and then....then...there would probably be
very little sleep for me tonight.
“I’m sure five minutes won’t be too long, right, honey?” I asked
him, keeping the nerves out of my voice.
“Of course not...just don’t get too loud, if you don’t mind, the
game is almost over and they are in a tie.” He replied.
I quickly grabbed Jas’ hand and dragged her towards the kitchen
table. “What are you doing?!” I hissed again at her.
“Dropping by books.” She replied and held out a bag.
I smiled at her, took the bag, and started to look through it
when I heard her ask.
“And asking if you are okay.” Her voice was in the no nonsense
tone. I could feel her eyes just staring down at me while I
still careful kept my eyes down at the books.
“I am fine, why would you ask if I wasn’t?”
“Dammit, Belle,” she sighed under her breath. “Why won’t you say
anything? We can help!”
I glanced up at her and said “I would if there was something to
say, but there is nothing. Except, I do need to return some
books to you.”
She waved her hand, dismissing it. “Give them to me next time we
have a girl’s night out. It’ll be easier. I have tons of stuff
in my car at the moment.” I nodded at her.
It went silent after that. At least for a few minutes. Then she
glanced at her watch and said “...4 minutes gone, I better head
out.” She wrapped her arms around me, and I flinched. She
frowned and just gently, so very gently hugged me. “I’ll always
be here, Belle.” She whispered in my ear and let go. I nodded to
her, gave a quick return hug, and started walking with her
towards the door.
“Take care of her, Phil. Take real good care of her.” She yelled
to him.
“Of course I will. Always have, right, darling?” He asked me.
“Very much so.” I replied.
Jas just shook her head, opened the door, and left. I shut it
behind her, wondering how the rest of the night was going to go
down, when I felt someone behind me.
“Why was she here?” He growled.
“B-books. She had new books to give me.” My voice shook as I
spoke, and showed him the bag.
“Did you ask her for more books?” He demanded.
“N-no! No, I didn’t. S-she just knows I love to read, and we
have done this all our li-” I was cut off by a painful,
stinging, slap on my cheek. I was starting to see spots.
“DON’T YOU LIE TO ME, BICTH. WHY WAS SHE HERE?” He roared again,
grabbing my right shoulder and squeezing it painfully.
I bit down on my tongue, trying hard to not scream. It always
seems to set him off more...or he just enjoys it more and will
get worse.
“I-I’m n-not lying!” I cried, tears I was trying so hard to keep
back betraying me and falling freely. “S-she just said she
misses me and hopes that I will be there next girl’s night and I
can return her books then!”
The pressure on my shoulder lightened, not much, but some. And
it was sweet relief...though it throbbed painfully. I was sure
to have another bruise in the morning, which just means even
more to cover up.
“And when is this next...girl’s night?” he asked coldly.
I almost shrugged but then just shook my head. “I don’t know...”
“Do you want to go to the girl’s night?”
I carefully glanced up at him, confused. Normally he hates it
when I go and tended to accuse me of cheating and then...well, I
get hurt worse. If the anxiety doesn’t make me sick first.
“I....I,” Trying to find the correct words to say so he wouldn’t
get angry. But the look he gave me showed he was getting more
annoyed at my stuttering to find the words
“I would. Because...I would like to hear how...their lives are
going. To...be with my friends. I mean, you enjoy being with
your friends too...and go out to see them a lot. So...yes, I
would like to go out with my friends.” I answered softly.
He processed my words carefully as I spoke, listening to each
and every word as if he thought I would add something different,
to catch a lie in the act. Then he nodded to me.
“I can understand that...perhaps...perhaps I could let you
go...” He said.
Joy and hope started to sing inside my soul. Perhaps he is going
back to how he used to be, maybe he is finally relaxing, going
back to the man I fell in love with. Perhaps I am finally doing
something right!
“But hear me,”He growled and grabbed me by the throat, choking
me slightly, leaning in close. “If you aren’t home when I say
you should be home, if I find anything that suggests you are
cheating on me, or if your friends know?” and he slammed me into
the nearest wall.
Pain travelled up my spin, my vision turning black and fuzzy,
and I let out a whimper. If what he has done to me before wasn’t
his worst...I think I would probably beg for death.
“Now go clean yourself up. You’re a mess.” He told me and walked
back to the couch, picked up his food and beer and unpaused the
game.
“Okay...”I whispered.
I slowly got to my feet and started making my way towards the
bathroom, thankful that I had just gotten the clean towels out
of the drier and into the bathroom so I wouldn’t have to get
them from the laundry room. Once I was in, I gently shut the
door, wanting to lock it, but had to fight every part of me
screaming at me to do so.
I gently started trying to take my shirt off without hurting my
right shoulder further. It was a bit difficult, but somehow I
managed only with a bit more pain. Then I took my shorts off and
I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. The side of my face
where he slapped me was already swelling up, and I sighed. I
turned around and glanced over my left shoulder and saw a few
more bruises on my back.
Thankfully, most of them can be covered, hidden...but the one on
my face? I doubt even the best makeup artist in the world could
hide all of that. I shook my head as I took off the rest of my
clothes and turned on the hot water. Guess that will mean I need
to think of a decent excuse. Once the water was warm enough
coming out of the bathtub faucet, I switched it over to come out
of the showerhead.
The hot water felt...amazing. It was already starting to soothe
my muscles, and my mind. I gently rested my forehead against the
shower wall, just wondering where it all started to go wrong...
Was it something I did? Did I do something to make him turn on
me like this? I don’t understand what went wrong...it was so
good in the beginning, even when he first moved in.
Then...sudden changes happened, small enough at first that I
didn't notice...then it was too late.
I sighed and started washing my hair, just letting myself enjoy
this relaxing shower. God knows I need some relaxing moments.
Once I was finished, I turned off the water, got out, and
wrapped a towel around me. I picked up my dirty clothes and
tiptoed out of the bathroom to the bedroom. I quickly dried
myself off, and put on my PJs. I took the towel that I wrapped
around my head off and brushed my medium length dark brown hair.
As I stared into the mirror, I started wondering about the
excuse I would need to give about my bruise. I couldn't really
think of anything solid besides that I was cooking and slipped
on some grease and slammed my face against the counter.
I sighed and shook my head. I hated lying...but it was easier
than dragging my loved ones into this mess. I crawled onto the
left side of the bed, curled up into a ball, and closed my eyes.
Hopefully I can escape into my dreams tonight...and just sleep
peacefully.
I awoke sometime in the morning when it was pitch black and I
felt someone wrap their arm around my waist. I kept my breathing
as it was, even though inside I was panicking. It was Phil. He
started to spoon me, getting as close as possible, and whispered
into my ear “I’m so...so sorry. I love you.” And I felt
something wet hit my cheek, as I kept my eyes close and
pretended to be asleep. He was crying.
This... didn't happen often. The crying even less often, enough
so that I was so surprised. And this is one of the reasons why I
stay with him. I know he is still the guy I fell in love
with...even though I don’t know how much longer I can stay in
this abusive relationship...
I woke up the next morning, somewhat noticing the house was
unusually quiet. Without thinking, I stretched my arms,gently
touching a warm body beside me, and I froze. Phil rolled over to
face me, and grabbed me by my waist and pulled me closer,
nuzzling his face into my neck.
He was always so loving in the morning.
I laid there beside him for a few minutes, cherishing the
moments of being able to just lay there with him, not worrying
about being yelled at, insulted, or hit. After those few minutes
were up, I murmured to him.
“Phil...I really need to get up. I need to get the coffee ready
for you, shower, and then get breakfast ready...”
“Not yet...” he said softly, pulling me closer.
I may update this again later, and I will let you know if I do.
Thanks for reading! ^^
#Post#: 2798--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sleepless Nights
By: Sainsbo Date: November 2, 2012, 7:16 pm
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Great story Ver, very descriptive!
Spin should be spine I believe, but that was the only typo I
found
"most of the stuff I needed for homemade pizza," I think you
could use a better word than "stuff" here. Maybe ingredients or
something?
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