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#Post#: 229--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes anyone??
DIR By: xBlueOysterx
Date: September 20, 2010, 7:35 pm
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here's another
A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30
minutes now, when they finally decide to pull it over. The
officer steps out and walks up to the surd's window.
"Goodafternoon, sir."
"Good afternoon, any problems?"
"No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you
for a half an hour now. We ascertained that you have not
committed one single traffic violation, you have not gone over
the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the
fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of our new
"Solid Driving Awareness Program", I would like to present you
with this check for $30,000.00."
The surd lets out a big sigh of relief:"Oh good! Now I can
finally pay to get my driver's license."
Awkward silence, then the surd's wife sitting in the passenger
seat goes, "Don't listen to him, officer. He always talks
nonsense when he has been drinking."
Surd's Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the
backseat, "Aye, aye aye, didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen
car?" At this time the surd's trunk pops open and a head peeks
out, "Are we over the border yet?"
#Post#: 230--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes anyone??
DIR By: xBlueOysterx
Date: September 20, 2010, 7:37 pm
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and another one bites the dusk
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of
customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and
asked,"How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around at the shop and said,
"About 3hours."The guy left.
A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said,
"About an hour only."The guy left.
The barber turned to a friend and said,
"Hey, Bill, do me a favour,
follow that guy and
see where he goes.
He keeps asking how
long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come
back".
A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing
ysterically.
The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"
Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "To your wife"!!!!!
=((
#Post#: 231--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes anyone??
DIR By: xBlueOysterx
Date: September 20, 2010, 7:44 pm
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ok a friend of mine works at the alcoa in indiana and one day
this posted all around he factory
All of america's army is in a frantic search for the terrorist
Osama Bin Laudin
Well we the Alcoa security have been searching for another
criminal
he is known as Osama Bin Working
so far we have not found him but we have found these other
People
Osama Bin Eating
Osama Bin Drinking
Osama Bin Loafing
and last but not least
Osama Bin Sleeping
If you have any clues as to where Osama Bin Working is
PLEASE LET US KNOW
#Post#: 263--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes anyone??
DIR By: suncatsu
Date: October 6, 2010, 10:46 pm
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ok i read this 1 sumwhere b4 and just remembered
3 guys got lost in a jungle then a genius of the lamp appears
*POOFF* >.< then he says
-ill grant u guys 3 wishes 1 per person now go ahead and proceed
to wish
the first 1-i wanna go home wit my family TT_TT *POOF* he
dissapears into his house
the 2nd-i wanna go home wit my wife n childrens. then *POOFF*
the same -3-
the 3rd now that he felt really alone in that jungle he began
thinkin for 5 mins. then says
-mmmm... i want my friends to come back here cuz i feel really
really lonenly......
OMFG!!!!!!!! 0.0
(self comment: he was just too stupid..... -o-)
#Post#: 264--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes anyone??
DIR By: suncatsu
Date: October 6, 2010, 10:55 pm
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no other jk -3-
Lock eyes from across the room
Down my drink while the rhythms boom
Take your hand and skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry
Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
A whole night what we've got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I
Jizz in my pants
This really never happens you can take my word
I won't apologize, that's just absurd
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
And now I
Jizz in my pants
Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut
Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus
Now I'll go home and change
I need a few things from the grocery
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heart broken not lookin' for love
Surprised in my eyes when I looked above
The check-out counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never felt that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me, that's when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked "cash or credit"
And I
Jizzed in my pants
It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we're going to need a clean up on aisle 3
And now I'm posed in an awkward stance because I
Jizzed in my pants
To be fair you were flirting a lot
Plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you're not impressed
One more thing, I'm gonna pay by cheque
Last week - I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I
Jizzed in my pants
Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
Need to get away need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I
Jizz in my pants
The next day my alarm goes off and I
Jizz in my pants
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I
Jizz in my pants
When bruce willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I
Jizzed in my pants
I just ate a grape and I
Jizzed... in... my pants
I went to
Jizzed..Ok. in... my pants
seriously you guys can we... ok...
I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me
And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me
You say I'm premature I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times it's a necessity
Cuz I
Jizz... in... my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants
yes I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants)
Yes I jizz... in... my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants)
4 m the song itself is the jk XD
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