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#Post#: 187--------------------------------------------------
S0/E0 [WIP]
By: Twilli Date: June 26, 2012, 3:58 pm
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REPOSTED FROM MAIN PLOT THREAD BECAUSE I SMARTENED UP AND
DECIDED IT DIDN'T BELONG THERE!
My thoughts for a pilot episode/trailer type thing.
START EPISODE 0, SEASON 1 // Perspective: First Person from
Joshua
Joshua awakes to the sound of blazing plasma and few gun shots,
and Jess crying.
Jess [Frightened] J-Josh?? H-h-hello?? W-wake up! Josh help
please I'm scared!
Josh [Confused] Woah, hey, settle down! What's happening?
Jess [Frightened I-I... I don't know!
Josh, Thought [Annoyed] What else is new?
Josh [Reassuring] It's okay! It's okay, just stay put, I gotta
make sure the others are okay, alright?
Jess [Frightened] Oh.. K-kay...
Josh rushes over to a rifle and grabs it, making his way forward
through the base, looking down the corridors to find the other
members of his team. Eventually, he looks down a corridor to see
a girl engaged in close quarters combat with an elite.
Quinn [Aggressive] Bring your ugly mug a little closer and I'll
rearrange it for ya!
Josh rushes over, and assassinates the Elite assailing his 2IC,
as it gets nearer and corners her.
Quinn [Annoyed] I could've handled it, y'know.
Josh, Thought [Sarcastic] Ya, ya sure.
Josh [Quickly] Have you seen Dan or Nicola?
Quinn [Quickly] No. [Implying] Guess you don't have to ask about
Jess, do ya, there?
Josh [Retort] Shut up! None of your business.
Quinn [Amused] Struck a nerve?
Josh turns around and storms off in search of his other
teammates, avoiding more conversation with Quinn. He quickly
stumbles upon an elite, who is quickly killed by a sniper shot
at the far end of a hall way. He looks down the hall way to see
Dan.
Josh [Quickly] Dan! What's the situation, do you know?
Dan [Out of Breath] No! They just started.. Showing up! So many
of them! We tried to get you.... but your room was.... locked..
[Chuckles] And Jessica's empty!
Josh [Peeved] No, not now! We still need to find Nicola!
Dan [Slightly amused] Indeed.
Josh and Dan set off together to look for Nicola, killing
several elites along the way, and Quinn catches up. They
eventually stumble to a locked room. Dan knocks on the door to
see if Nicola is inside.
Dan [Hurried] Nicola? Are you in there? We're going to have to
evacuate!
Nicola [Trembly] Y-yea. Okay, let me unlock the door, and we can
get out of here.
Josh [Worried] Wait, Jess is still on the other side of the
base!
Josh, Thought [Angry] Oh ****, I'm an idiot! I left her over
there, defenceless!
Josh drops his weapon and breaks into sprint to make it over to
the other side of the base. He charges by and punches several
elites on his way, before arriving back at the room he started
in. To his dismay he finds the door open, and as he charges in,
he sees Jess against the wall with an Elite about to charge an
Energy sword through her.
Josh [Dismayed] Jess! No!
The elite lunges the sword into Jess, and the screen goes black
right before contact. Silence, then heavy breathing and soft
sobbing is heard. The same view from Josh's visor from the
beginning is seen, except darker.
Jess [Worried] Josh?! Are you okay? What's wrong?!
Josh [Catching Breath] Yea.... Just.. another nightmare..
Jess [Worried] The same one?
Josh [Shock] Yea...
Josh, Thought [Whine] When will this end?
Screen goes black. A suspended and dull teal light pulses
slightly.
Josh [Whispered] We've been here for nine months now. We're
getting sick and tired of running... We're all stressed, and I
think all of us want to go home. We've become a lot closer to
each other now, with these experiences, but it's getting to be
too much. We can't live like this forever. Eventually we're
going to slip up, and we'll be done. They made me their
leader... They decided I'd be the best at it. It worked out at
first, but now I have to look after everybody. And.. ugh...
The light fades out, then reappears as an orange colour, pulsing
slightly.
Quinn [Whispered] I can't believe how long we've been here. How
long we've had to deal with each other. I'm surprised we haven't
starting offing each other yet. It's just... We're still just
kids. We didn't want this. We didn't deserve this. To be dropped
on who knows where and forced to fight for our lives. To be
separated from our friends from back there...
The light fades again, then comes back as purple.
Nicola [Whispered] We're all scared. We're running out of things
to do, places to hide. We don't know how long it is until this
base is found, and then we'l have to evacuate. Again. And run,
and look, and hide, and huddle up with each other to try and
feel safe while Josh and Quinn try and argue out a plan, while
I'm bent over Jess, as she cries, trying to make her feel
better, and Dan stands watch. Why did we end up here? Scared for
our lives with no idea when it'll be over?
The light fades, and comes back as dark blue.
Dan [Whispered] [Sighs] I don't know what to do. I don't care
any more if we never go home. I can live with that. I just want
to be able to stay in one place for more than two weeks. To not
have to pick up a rifle everyday and watch out for Elites. Not
having to hear Jessica cry every day. Not hearing Josh and Quinn
argue everyday. Not seeing Nicola for several days because she's
too busy with her machines, trying to make sure we have defence
when we need it.
The light fades completely. The screen stays black for about
five seconds, and then a dim flicker of light blue is seen,
before going black again.
Jess [Whispered, Sobbing] H-help us.. Please...
END EPISODE 0 SEASON 0 //
Very unpolished, I know. It's 1 in the morning. Sue me.
#Post#: 189--------------------------------------------------
Re: S0/E0 [WIP]
By: Quinn Date: June 26, 2012, 7:09 pm
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I think we should put all scripts on the 4shared account. That
way, we can all edit our lines to make us sound more like
ourselves, fix spelling/grammar, etc. without much hassle.
#Post#: 191--------------------------------------------------
Re: S0/E0 [WIP]
By: Twilli Date: June 26, 2012, 7:21 pm
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EDIT: NEVERMIND, WE ARE NOT DOING THAT. My computer can't do
that without tremendous lag, so I seriously doubt my laptop will
handle that. the 1 kb of Please Read basically killed my comp.
Scripts, which are much larger, will not work, not to mention,
it's overly complicated to take a script, edit it, then put it
back on, especially if we are all working at the same time.
(Unlikely, but still.) And I doubt we're going to be constantly
able to take the time to upload and download files. So, unless
there is something I'm missing here, I'm completely against the
idea of using 4shared for anything other than voice files. Not
to mention, unlike you guys, I write out all of my stuff on the
actual site, because I don't have a word program to write in.
So, using 4shared for scripts is hugely inconvenient for me.
#Post#: 193--------------------------------------------------
Re: S0/E0 [WIP]
By: KitsuneMae Date: June 27, 2012, 9:08 am
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Yeah, using the site seems a lot more convenient, especially for
text. Just copy-paste, edit, and post, then once everyone's
gotten their input in, we'll copy the finished product into a
finalized section (while still keeping the drafting topic intact
because some useful stuff might have cropped up while discussing
the script). Voila, there we go. Using 4shared would honestly be
a lot harder than just exchanging scripts here. :/
#Post#: 195--------------------------------------------------
Re: S0/E0 [WIP]
By: Quinn Date: June 27, 2012, 9:33 am
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Okay, sure. I just think it'll be a little difficult when
everyone's posting their version of the script.
#Post#: 196--------------------------------------------------
Re: S0/E0 [WIP]
By: Twilli Date: June 27, 2012, 12:34 pm
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So we're all in agreement. Yay.
#Post#: 200--------------------------------------------------
Re: S0/E0 [WIP]
By: Quinn Date: July 4, 2012, 12:48 pm
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I made a separate version with minor dialogue edits and a
different ending.
[quote]START EPISODE 0, SEASON 1 // Perspective: First Person
from Joshua
Joshua awakes to the sound of blazing plasma, few gun shots, and
Jess crying.
Jess [Frightened]: J-Josh? H-h-hello?! W-wake up! Josh help
please I'm scared!
Josh [Confused]: Woah, hey, settle down! What's happening?
Jess [Frightened]: I-I... I don't know!
Josh, Thought [Annoyed]: What else is new?
Josh [Reassuring]: It's okay! It's okay, just stay put. I gotta
make sure the others are okay, alright?
Jess [Frightened]: Oh... K-kay...
Josh rushes over to a rifle and grabs it, making his way forward
through the base, looking down the corridors to find the other
members of his team. Eventually, he looks down a corridor to see
a girl engaged in close quarters combat with an elite.
Quinn [Aggressive]: Bring your ugly mug a little closer and I'll
rearrange it for ya!
As the assailing Elite gets nearer and corners his 2IC, Josh
rushes over and assassinates it.
Quinn [Annoyed]: I could've handled it, y'know.
Josh, Thought [Sarcastic]: Yeah, yeah, sure.
Josh [Quickly]: Have you seen Dan or Nicola?
Quinn [Quickly]: No. [Implying] Guess you don't have to ask
about Jess, hm?
Josh [Retort]: Shut up! None of your business.
Quinn [Amused]: Struck a nerve?
Josh turns around and storms off in search of his other
teammates, avoiding more conversation with Quinn. He quickly
stumbles upon an elite, who is quickly killed by a sniper shot
at the far end of the hallway. He looks down the hall way to see
Dan.
Josh [Quickly]: Dan! What's the situation? Do you know?
Dan [Out of breath]: No! They just started showing up! So many
of them! We tried to get you, but your room was... locked...
[chuckles] and Jessica's was empty...
Josh [Peeved]: No, not now! We still need to find Nicola!
Dan [Slightly amused]: Indeed.
Josh and Dan set off together to look for Nicola, killing
several elites along the way, and Quinn catches up. They
eventually stumble to a locked room. Dan knocks on the door to
see if Nicola is inside.
Dan [Hurried]: Nicola? Are you in there? We're going to have to
evacuate!
Nicola [Trembly]: Y-yeah. Okay, I'll be right there.
Quinn [Relieved]: Good. Let's make like Autobots and roll the
hell outta here.
Nicola opens the door and looks around.
Nicola [Worried]: Wait, where's Jess?
Josh [Angry]: ****, she's still on the other side of the base!
Josh drops his weapon and breaks into sprint to make it over to
the other side of the base. He charges by and punches several
elites on his way before arriving back at the room he started
in. To his dismay, he finds the door open. As he charges in, he
sees Jess against the wall with an Elite about to charge an
energy sword through her.
Josh [Dismayed]: Jess! No!
The elite lunges the sword into Jess, and the screen goes black
right before contact. Silence. The same view from Josh's visor
from the beginning is seen, except darker.
Jess [Worried]: Josh?! Are you okay? What's wrong?
Josh [Catching Breath]: Just a nightmare.
Jess [Worried]: The same one?
Josh [Shock]: Yeah...
Bright light floods in. Josh and Jess cover their eyes. Cut to
the silhouette of someone opening the door.
Quinn [Sarcastic undertones]: I should have known. Rise and
shine, lovebirds.
J & J [Flustered]: We're not–
Quinn [Chipper]: Of course not; you're just sleeping in the same
room. You'll get the whole relationship lecture later. Now get
up! We've got a whole day ahead of us, and if we get too
distracted, we'll all get ourselves killed by aliens.
Jess [Disgruntled]: Yes, Warden...
Josh [Indignant]: I thought I was the commanding officer here!
Quinn [Leaving]: Yeah... God help us all.
Pause.
Josh [Embarrassed] Okay, so maybe this does look a little
incriminating.
Jess [Nervous] I think we should leave.
Cut to Quinn and Nicola conversing as Nicola tinkers with a
random machine.
Quinn [Seething]: Josh and Jess... they just can't keep this up.
I've told those two time and time again that if they get
involved, they're probably going to get hurt and jeopardize the
entire team. Pretty sure they stopped listening a long time
ago... [sigh] You know what the chain of command is, Nicola?
Nicola [Humoring her]: The chain that you use to beat people
into submission?
Quinn [Smiling]: Actually, yes, but that's beside the point.
Nicola [Conversational]: Go on.
Quinn [Calmer]: I'm just saying that I'm second-in-command for a
reason, and that they should show a little respect and stop
fooling around. You know what I mean?
Nicola [Barely paying attention]: Mm-hm.
Quinn [Sitting down]: Ah, hell. They might just be bromancing
after all, but there's no proof.
Nicola sets down whatever she was tinkering with and turns to
face her.
Nicola [Srs]: Quinn, I think you should be a little less harsh
on them.
Quinn [Also srs]: But it's my job!
Nicola [Matter-of-fact]: You care about them, right?
Quinn [Musing]: Yeah...
Nicola [Bright]: Then let them learn from their own mistakes!
Now would you hand me those wire cutters?
Quinn [Amused]: Okay, fine... and Nicky?
Nicola [Attentive]: Hm?
Quinn [Warm]: Thanks for putting up with me.
Fade to Josh, Jess and Dan.
Josh [Angst]: I don't know, I've just had this sinking feeling
for a while now... like something's going to go horribly wrong.
Dan [Impassive]: It may have something to do with all of those
elites.
Jess [Concerned]: I wish I could help, but I don't know what to
do.
Dan [Thoughtful]: Perhaps there actually is something wrong, and
you only barely realize what it is?
Josh [Depressed]: Well, there goes my peace of mind.
Jess [Panicked]: Dan, stop it! He doesn't need any more
paranoia!
Josh [Anxious]: Actually, he might be right. I keep getting the
feeling that we're being... watched.
Cut to a view of the three through the window through some kind
of scope or pair of binoculars.
Thrall [Reporting]: They look absolutely pathetic, sir. Their
defenses are scant, they barely respect each other, and there
isn't a single true warrior among them. Confrontation will not
be a problem.
Nithos [Speculative]: Confrontation is not our current goal.
Continue the surveillance.
Thrall lowers the scope/binoculars/whatever and turns to Nithos.
The other elites are doing whatever their jobs are in the
background.
Thrall [Icily]: With all due respect, sir, we could quite easily
take them down. There is no need for surveillance.
Nithos [Threatening]: Are you questioning my authority, soldier?
Thrall [Pausing]: No, sir. Forgive my rudeness.
Uato [Approaching, jovial]: Don't worry about Thrall. He's just
grumpy because he got the boring short end of the stick. Can I
have a look-see?
Thrall hands him the scope/binoculars/whatever. Return to scope
view. There is smoke rising from the window. Team Addled is no
longer in sight, but they can still be heard in the background.
Dan [Pensive]: That does not look like breakfast.
Jess [Nervous breakdown]: Omigawd, I'm so sorry! I didn't
realize I left it there for so long!
Nicola [Concerned]: Oh, dear...
Quinn [Angry]: I leave for fifteen minutes, and this is what
happens?
Jess [Sobbing]: I'm SORRY!
Uato [Smug]: Yeah, this'll be easy.
END EPISODE 0 SEASON 0 //[/quote]
I was honestly just guessing with the Elites'
personalities/jobs/etc. Feel free to correct me.
#Post#: 201--------------------------------------------------
Re: S0/E0 [WIP]
By: Superdanielmon Date: July 4, 2012, 9:16 pm
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This one looks good! Much more fleshed out and stuff. The elites
could do with some small changes though. I can't quite put my
finger on what changes though.
#Post#: 202--------------------------------------------------
Re: S0/E0 [WIP]
By: Twilli Date: July 4, 2012, 9:45 pm
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Quinn, it's not an episode. It's a teaser type thing. Just
saying.
#Post#: 206--------------------------------------------------
Re: S0/E0 [WIP]
By: Joshua Date: July 5, 2012, 10:10 am
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I like Quinn's script. Although I think you're right, Jess, that
this is only a pilot, I think perhaps a pilot that didn't give
away our entire story straight from the off would be a little
nicer. Colour me stupid, but the whole 'we've been here this
long as this is what I think straight from the first episode
monologue' is a little overdone nowadays. Quinn's script seemed
a lot more light-hearted, with a healthy mix of plot straight
aft your opening nightmare without being heavy on it. I do feel
this is more suited as a first episode as oppose to a pilot,
though. I guess I could write a pilot, quick-like, if y'all
want. S'okay with me.
Also, you did well for the elites, hun! Daniel is correct, there
is a line or two that is a little off (If I can place it, it's
probably the standard english and reference to 'soldier' instead
of 'brother'? idk), but apart from that, s'all gravy. Just needs
a quick brush-up and then people need to chip in with their
lines- I don't know why I pick up on this but I seem a little
brash here. Just sayin'. `-`
Either way, nice going, guys! o w u
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