> After a recent bout with intestinal challenges, I came up with some more
> types of shit.  For the benefit of those who have not seen the orginal post,
> here is the shi....ah.... meat of it.
> 
> 
> Mark Elliot:              THE SHIT LIST
> Ghost Shit -- You know you've shit.  There's shit on the toilet paper, but
> 	there's no shit in the toilet.
> Teflon Coated Shit -- Comes out so slick, clean, and easy that you don't even
> 	feel it.  No traces of shit on the toilet paper.  You have to look for
> 	the shit in the toilet to be sure you did it.
> Gooey Shit -- This has the consistency of hot tar.  You wipe your ass 12 times
> 	and it still doesn't come clean.  You end up putting toilet paper in
> 	you underwear so you don't stain it.  This shit leaves permanent skid
> 	marks in the toilet.
> Second Thought Shit -- You're all done wiping you ass and you're about to stand
> 	up when you realize it...you've got to shit more.
> Pop A Vein In Your Forehead Shit -- This is the kind of shit that killed Elvis
> 	It just doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling,
> 	and purple from straining so hard.
> Richard Simmons Shit -- You shit so much, you lose 10 pounds.
> Right Now Shit -- You better be within 30 seconds a toilet.  Usually it has
> 	it's head out before you get your pants down.
> Green Shit -- Comes the day after eating a big spinach salad.
> King Kong or Commode Choker Shit -- This shit is so big that you know it won't
> 	go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks.  A coat
> 	hanger works well.  This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's
> 	house.
> Cork Shit -- (Also known as Floaters) Even after the third flush, it's still
> 	floating in there.  My God!  How do I get rid of it?!  This shit also
> 	usually happens at someone else's house.
> Wet Cheeks Shit -- This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash
> 	that gets your ass all wet.
> Wish Shit -- You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit.
> Cement Block Shit or Oh God! Shit -- You wish you'd gotten a spinal block
> 	before you shit.
> Snake Shit -- This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb
> 	and at least 3 feet long.
> Mexican Food Shit -- (Also Called Screamers) You'll know it's alright to eat
> 	again when your asshole stops burning.
> Beer Drunk Shit -- This happens the day after the night before.  Normally your
> 	shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD!  Usually there's
> 	someone standing outside waiting to use the bathroom.  This kind of
> 	shit also usually happens at someone else's house.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> New and improved shit.
> 
> Burning Ass Shit -- Self explanitory.  Usually occurs after eating Burning
> 	Mouth Indian food.
> 
> Firecracker Shit -- This shit comes out in little explosions.  Like a string of
> 	firecrackers.  Just when you think the last blew, wait, there's
> 	more shit to come.  Interspersed with flagellations.
> 
> Volcano Shit -- Not liquid and not solid, this shit sort of emerges from your
> 	ass in a continuous flow. Usually happens when you are in a hurry or
> 	ate Indian food the night before.
> 
> Nuclear Shit -- One huge King Kong log explosion followed by a solid
> 	outpouring of shit in varying textures and densities.  Asshole
> 	radiates for awhile afterwards.
> 
> Shy Shit -- Combination of Wish Shit and Second Thought Shit.  It's going to
> 	come out.  No it's not.  Yes it is. No it's NOT.  Best bet is to force
> 	to become the Pop A Vein in Your Forehead Shit.
> 
> Sex Shit -- Incredible urge to deficate caused by increased movement of
> 	internal organs due to the act of sex.  This shit kind of sneaks up
> 	on you. Your never quite sure whether it will emerge in solid or
> 	gaseous state.
> 
> SHIT! Shit. -- This shit gives you ample warning of it's impending arrival.
> 	Yet, you are still unable to find ac(commode)ations.  Usually on long
> 	airline flights with equally long latrine lines, during traffic, in the
> 	middle of a conference or meeting.  If serviced early enough, it is
> 	Teflon shit.  If late enough, Cement Block Shit.
> 
> Baby Shit -- Self explanatory.  Output often more attractive and seemingly
> 	palatable then input.  Comes in a variety of colors and textures.
> 
> SLOW Shit -- Much like Shy Shit except you have the feeling of continuous,
> 	albeit miniscule progress.  Coaxing and straining does not help.
> 	Get a good book and relax. This shit is in no hurry.
> 
> AcId ShIt -_ Occurs the morning after taking two hits of acid and getting
> 	the munchies.  You're not quite sure what it is you ate, but from
> 	the looks of this shit, it must have been something really gnarly.
> 	May come in colors, might just seem that way. Spend more time
> 	admiring it then delivering it.
> 
> Politically correct term for Shit:	Nutritionally Challenged Output.
> 
> 

