**Phrases To Live By**

  * If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  * A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  * Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  * For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  * He who hesitates is probably right.
  * No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  * Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
  * The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
  * The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
  * The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
  * To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  * Two wrongs are only the beginning.
  * You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
  * Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
  * The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  * Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
  * Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.
  * Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
  * If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
  * I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
  * Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."
  * Death to all fanatics!
  * Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  * Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
  * Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
  * Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
  * Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
  * Half the people you know are below average.
  * 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  * 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. And finally....
  * If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.